<![CDATA[Shenny HQ - Fan Fiction]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/ Fri, 24 Jul 2026 18:04:53 +0000 MyBB <![CDATA[International Talk Like a Pirate Day Challenge 2019!]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=905 Wed, 04 Sep 2019 09:57:05 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=905 Darkly Dreaming has issued a call to Shenny FF writers…

[Image: cd4d81ce0881f0a2f43ac61bee0d6bcc94e14ab4.jpg]



International Talk Like a Pirate Day Challenge!

It's September again and we all know what that means: International Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming up on the 19th! 

Pirata Codex:

1. It has to be a minimum of 1k, but no max. Write as much as you like.
2. Must prominently feature Sheldon and Penny, but does not have to be shippy if you want a wider audience.
3. Since we're starting a bit late, we'll extend the deadline to the end of September (but if you still don't get it done before then, post it whenever! No pressure!)

Only dead men tell no tales, so look lively and remember to have fun!

±±±

So get your thinking caps on Shenny....

[Image: 11764_900.jpg]
]]> Darkly Dreaming has issued a call to Shenny FF writers…

[Image: cd4d81ce0881f0a2f43ac61bee0d6bcc94e14ab4.jpg]



International Talk Like a Pirate Day Challenge!

It's September again and we all know what that means: International Talk Like a Pirate Day is coming up on the 19th! 

Pirata Codex:

1. It has to be a minimum of 1k, but no max. Write as much as you like.
2. Must prominently feature Sheldon and Penny, but does not have to be shippy if you want a wider audience.
3. Since we're starting a bit late, we'll extend the deadline to the end of September (but if you still don't get it done before then, post it whenever! No pressure!)

Only dead men tell no tales, so look lively and remember to have fun!

±±±

So get your thinking caps on Shenny....

[Image: 11764_900.jpg]
]]> <![CDATA[Missing in Acton - The Lost Non-Canon Writers (not Shenny)]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=894 Thu, 11 Jul 2019 14:11:09 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=894 All fics in this thread are NON-SHENNY. Other alternative pairings, including Slash. Or other non-canon fics.

Missing Schrödinger fics

Thanks to RevDorothyL for this collection. They are no longer available online. As we don't know the reasons all these fics have been removed by their authors we are keeping them in the private area. Send us a message, or join up if you want to read 'em.


1. Such a Jerk by Autobot Chromia
Kripke is such a jerk. He is always teasing Sheldon, and always speaks with that impediment. Why does he talk like that anyways? Doesn't he have access to a speech therapist? A one shot explaining and answering all these questions, plus more. Rated T for safety, swearing and abuse. One shot.

2. GOD Made You Special Too by Princess do-gooder
When Sheldon is jealous of his older brother his mother comforts and reassures him. One shot.

3. I Am Not Stupid by PercyJacksonFan135
Just a small one shot about how Zach feels when people call him stupid. AU. Let's pretend that Zach Jonson is smarter than people think and that he got a masters in teaching; particularly, American Literature. How will Penny react when he tells her how he feels when he's called stupid? Told from Zach's point of view.  Sheldon C., Penny, Zach J.

4. Strike a Match by pixelnerd
'Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash-' Oneshot. Implied domestic violence. Dark childhood.  Sheldon C.



Sheldon/OC fics
 
1. The Love Conundrum by Blue Sky Thinking
Victoria Moore is an accomplished astrophysicist, and has just moved in with Penny, obviously catching the attention of the boys... Especially, to everyone's shock including his own, Sheldon. Re-write of 'the Love Concept,' Sheldon/OC. (M)

2. First Impressions and Reflections by Ms. S
She had met him in a cafeteria in the fifth grade, and where she was outgoing and caring, he was shy and insensitive. These are the stories of Cassandra Penna and Sheldon Cooper from their first meeting to the very last day they ever see each other again.




Howard/Raj: Wolopali fics
 
1. The Flirtation Inconsistency by hanet
Post-episode fic carrying on from The Gorilla Experiment. Raj muses about the events of the episode. Short, one-shot. Pre-slash.

2. The Gay Cowboy Disambiguation by hanet
The reason Howard and Raj didn't go to a Western bar after The Gothowitz Deviation. Pre-slash. One shot.

3. The Precipitating Events Sequence by hanet
Howard/Raj drabbles.

4. I Love You by iiCookiee
So, this is a very quick one-shot about Raj and Howard. It's only 64 words. I was bored when I did this, and it took me about 5 minutes. One shot.

5. Lie by iiCookiee
Short fic to song by Miley Cyrus.

3. The Breakup Indiscretion by banana.x.phone
Howard and Bernadette breakup. Howard seeks comfort in his best friend. Slash fic. Raj and Howard. (M)




Sheldon/Leonard: Shelnard fics

1. Wish you were here by InnocentSmile97
heldon's away from home and gets an odd... feeling... about someone. Who might just be feeling the same thing... Leonard/Sheldon Shelnard supposed to be a friendship fic but you could read it as a bromance/romance if you want. 

2. Changes - Scenes from My Life with Sheldon Cooper by julesmonster
This is the story of Sheldon and Leonard, from their first date until they have reached the ripe old age of 68. Each chapter deals with a major event in their life together. There are funny moments and romantic moments and moments that might bring a small tear to your eye. SLASH. Sheldon/Leonard.




Penny/Amy: Penamy fics
 
1. The Slumber Party Incident by SecretBlonde
Amy decides to try a little experiment. F/F, Rated M for a reason.




Raj/Missy: Rassy fics
 
1. It's You - Missy & Raj Edition by Technological Musician
Missy Cooper & Rajesh Koothrappali sing a sweet song together at a Christmas party on Christmas Eve, read to find out more! One shot.]]> All fics in this thread are NON-SHENNY. Other alternative pairings, including Slash. Or other non-canon fics.

Missing Schrödinger fics

Thanks to RevDorothyL for this collection. They are no longer available online. As we don't know the reasons all these fics have been removed by their authors we are keeping them in the private area. Send us a message, or join up if you want to read 'em.


1. Such a Jerk by Autobot Chromia
Kripke is such a jerk. He is always teasing Sheldon, and always speaks with that impediment. Why does he talk like that anyways? Doesn't he have access to a speech therapist? A one shot explaining and answering all these questions, plus more. Rated T for safety, swearing and abuse. One shot.

2. GOD Made You Special Too by Princess do-gooder
When Sheldon is jealous of his older brother his mother comforts and reassures him. One shot.

3. I Am Not Stupid by PercyJacksonFan135
Just a small one shot about how Zach feels when people call him stupid. AU. Let's pretend that Zach Jonson is smarter than people think and that he got a masters in teaching; particularly, American Literature. How will Penny react when he tells her how he feels when he's called stupid? Told from Zach's point of view.  Sheldon C., Penny, Zach J.

4. Strike a Match by pixelnerd
'Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash-' Oneshot. Implied domestic violence. Dark childhood.  Sheldon C.



Sheldon/OC fics
 
1. The Love Conundrum by Blue Sky Thinking
Victoria Moore is an accomplished astrophysicist, and has just moved in with Penny, obviously catching the attention of the boys... Especially, to everyone's shock including his own, Sheldon. Re-write of 'the Love Concept,' Sheldon/OC. (M)

2. First Impressions and Reflections by Ms. S
She had met him in a cafeteria in the fifth grade, and where she was outgoing and caring, he was shy and insensitive. These are the stories of Cassandra Penna and Sheldon Cooper from their first meeting to the very last day they ever see each other again.




Howard/Raj: Wolopali fics
 
1. The Flirtation Inconsistency by hanet
Post-episode fic carrying on from The Gorilla Experiment. Raj muses about the events of the episode. Short, one-shot. Pre-slash.

2. The Gay Cowboy Disambiguation by hanet
The reason Howard and Raj didn't go to a Western bar after The Gothowitz Deviation. Pre-slash. One shot.

3. The Precipitating Events Sequence by hanet
Howard/Raj drabbles.

4. I Love You by iiCookiee
So, this is a very quick one-shot about Raj and Howard. It's only 64 words. I was bored when I did this, and it took me about 5 minutes. One shot.

5. Lie by iiCookiee
Short fic to song by Miley Cyrus.

3. The Breakup Indiscretion by banana.x.phone
Howard and Bernadette breakup. Howard seeks comfort in his best friend. Slash fic. Raj and Howard. (M)




Sheldon/Leonard: Shelnard fics

1. Wish you were here by InnocentSmile97
heldon's away from home and gets an odd... feeling... about someone. Who might just be feeling the same thing... Leonard/Sheldon Shelnard supposed to be a friendship fic but you could read it as a bromance/romance if you want. 

2. Changes - Scenes from My Life with Sheldon Cooper by julesmonster
This is the story of Sheldon and Leonard, from their first date until they have reached the ripe old age of 68. Each chapter deals with a major event in their life together. There are funny moments and romantic moments and moments that might bring a small tear to your eye. SLASH. Sheldon/Leonard.




Penny/Amy: Penamy fics
 
1. The Slumber Party Incident by SecretBlonde
Amy decides to try a little experiment. F/F, Rated M for a reason.




Raj/Missy: Rassy fics
 
1. It's You - Missy & Raj Edition by Technological Musician
Missy Cooper & Rajesh Koothrappali sing a sweet song together at a Christmas party on Christmas Eve, read to find out more! One shot.]]> <![CDATA[The Finale Problem Fanfiction Challenge]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=731 Fri, 11 Jan 2019 07:54:49 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=731

How do you solve the problem of a once beloved show turning into complete crap? You write the final episode tag and change the future or retcon some (or all of it). Yes, I know we don't know what the final story will be, but we can guess it will continue to be about babies, weddings and a Noble prize in Physics for Amy.

Rules:
1. Any Romantic pairings must be non-canon by end of Tag (Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc) Please remember to list the pairing in your story description.

2. Must be between 100 and 3,500 words

3. Must be only one chapter long

4. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by April 28, 2019

Rating: G - R 
Type: Platonic, Romantic, Supernatural, Disaster, etc. (no smut please)
]]>

How do you solve the problem of a once beloved show turning into complete crap? You write the final episode tag and change the future or retcon some (or all of it). Yes, I know we don't know what the final story will be, but we can guess it will continue to be about babies, weddings and a Noble prize in Physics for Amy.

Rules:
1. Any Romantic pairings must be non-canon by end of Tag (Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc) Please remember to list the pairing in your story description.

2. Must be between 100 and 3,500 words

3. Must be only one chapter long

4. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by April 28, 2019

Rating: G - R 
Type: Platonic, Romantic, Supernatural, Disaster, etc. (no smut please)
]]> <![CDATA[I've been writing Shenny smut]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=704 Sat, 25 Aug 2018 23:10:56 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=704 I'm new to these boards, so have probably messed my board etiquette up - any pointers/feedback are appreciated

but I've been writing some Shenny kinky smut and thought I'd share;
https://www.fanfiction.net/~delgardo 

(not found how to change my username yet)
Delgardo]]> I'm new to these boards, so have probably messed my board etiquette up - any pointers/feedback are appreciated

but I've been writing some Shenny kinky smut and thought I'd share;
https://www.fanfiction.net/~delgardo 

(not found how to change my username yet)
Delgardo]]> <![CDATA[2017 Fall Challenges]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=623 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 03:56:02 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=623 Ahoy scallywags! This Fall we 'ave three different challenges fer ye t' participate in, so grab yer fav'rit quill 'n ink (don't forget th' Rum) 'n get t' writin', or 'tis Davy Jones locker fer ye.

Fall Challenge # 1

[Image: f89856eb5e80a393672f3cd5f472fe21.png]


Rules:

1. Any romantic pairings must be non-canon by the end of the story: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

2.  Must have the BBT characters dealing with Pirates, talking about Pirates, or being Pirates

3. Length must be between 500 and 7,500 words long

4. Must be posted to Fanfiction or Ao3 by September 19th, 2017 for International Talk Like A Pirate Day

There is no restriction on rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, supernatural, etc.) and can take place any time during the show, or be completely AU.

Fall Challenge #2:

[Image: 570be7ac9a1b74c88ac21d6c6dce43f7.png]

Back by popular demand and dedicated to all the trolls who has ever told a writer to go kill themselves for not writing stories about fictional characters according to their narrow canon viewpoint.

RULES:

1. Any romantic pairings must be non-canon by the end of the story: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

2. Any Doctor may be killed off (Leonard, Amy, Raj, Bernadette, Kripke, Leslie, etc)

3. You cannot kill off non-Doctors

4. The death must be completed in a single chapter, although you are welcome to contribute as many different forms of death as you like as long as they are a chapter each

5. Length must be between 200 and 5,000 words long

6. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by October 31, 2017

There is no restriction on rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Heroes/Villains, supernatural, etc.) and can take place any time during the show, or be completely AU.

Have fun and let the bloodbath begin.... Mwah ha ha

Fall Challenge # 3

[Image: c0204f1424a8e7deebeeeebe99cf4201.png]

Killing off BBT characters not your cup of tea? Here's an Alternative. For more information about Penny Dreadfuls (or Penny Bloods), check out Price One Penny.

RULES:
1. Story should focus on the sensationalized exploits of detectives, criminals, or the supernatural

2. Any romantic pairings must be non-canon by the end of the story: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

3. Length must be between 1,000 and 15,000 words long

4. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by October 31, 2017

There is no restriction on rating, and can take place any time during the show, or be AU.]]> Ahoy scallywags! This Fall we 'ave three different challenges fer ye t' participate in, so grab yer fav'rit quill 'n ink (don't forget th' Rum) 'n get t' writin', or 'tis Davy Jones locker fer ye.

Fall Challenge # 1

[Image: f89856eb5e80a393672f3cd5f472fe21.png]


Rules:

1. Any romantic pairings must be non-canon by the end of the story: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

2.  Must have the BBT characters dealing with Pirates, talking about Pirates, or being Pirates

3. Length must be between 500 and 7,500 words long

4. Must be posted to Fanfiction or Ao3 by September 19th, 2017 for International Talk Like A Pirate Day

There is no restriction on rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, supernatural, etc.) and can take place any time during the show, or be completely AU.

Fall Challenge #2:

[Image: 570be7ac9a1b74c88ac21d6c6dce43f7.png]

Back by popular demand and dedicated to all the trolls who has ever told a writer to go kill themselves for not writing stories about fictional characters according to their narrow canon viewpoint.

RULES:

1. Any romantic pairings must be non-canon by the end of the story: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

2. Any Doctor may be killed off (Leonard, Amy, Raj, Bernadette, Kripke, Leslie, etc)

3. You cannot kill off non-Doctors

4. The death must be completed in a single chapter, although you are welcome to contribute as many different forms of death as you like as long as they are a chapter each

5. Length must be between 200 and 5,000 words long

6. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by October 31, 2017

There is no restriction on rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Heroes/Villains, supernatural, etc.) and can take place any time during the show, or be completely AU.

Have fun and let the bloodbath begin.... Mwah ha ha

Fall Challenge # 3

[Image: c0204f1424a8e7deebeeeebe99cf4201.png]

Killing off BBT characters not your cup of tea? Here's an Alternative. For more information about Penny Dreadfuls (or Penny Bloods), check out Price One Penny.

RULES:
1. Story should focus on the sensationalized exploits of detectives, criminals, or the supernatural

2. Any romantic pairings must be non-canon by the end of the story: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

3. Length must be between 1,000 and 15,000 words long

4. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by October 31, 2017

There is no restriction on rating, and can take place any time during the show, or be AU.]]> <![CDATA[2017 Summer Challenges]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=624 Fri, 19 May 2017 09:19:46 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=624

Non-Canon Summer Challenge # 1

[Image: ebd898ea94ff16b17e12a14ea32b5912.png]
In honor of our favorite arch-nemesis Wil Wheaton, and his request that his birthday on July 29th be known as "Don't be a dick day", we challenge you to create a BBT story where he breaks up couples, causes havoc, or just generally behaves like a dick.

Rules:
1. Any Romantic pairings must be non-canon by end of story (Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc) Please remember to list the pairing in your story description.

2. Must be between 100 and 5,000 words

3. Must be only one chapter long

4. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by July 29th, 2017


There is no restriction on rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Hero, supernatural, disaster, etc.)


Non-Canon Summer Challenge #2

[Image: f6f2da2d6729dc36cdcf62121e04bdc6.png]
Your challenge (if you choose to accept it) is to create a TBBT story about a summer adventure. Examples: Paintball, Kite flying, Mini Golf, Experiment of some type, Theme (or water) Park, Beach, Camping, Apocalypse training, Road trip

Rules:
1. Pairings must be non-canon (Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc) Please remember to list the pairing in your story description. (Can go from canon to non-canon pairing during the story)

2. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by August 30th, 2017


There is no restriction on length, rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Hero, Supernatural, disaster, etc.)]]>

Non-Canon Summer Challenge # 1

[Image: ebd898ea94ff16b17e12a14ea32b5912.png]
In honor of our favorite arch-nemesis Wil Wheaton, and his request that his birthday on July 29th be known as "Don't be a dick day", we challenge you to create a BBT story where he breaks up couples, causes havoc, or just generally behaves like a dick.

Rules:
1. Any Romantic pairings must be non-canon by end of story (Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc) Please remember to list the pairing in your story description.

2. Must be between 100 and 5,000 words

3. Must be only one chapter long

4. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by July 29th, 2017


There is no restriction on rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Hero, supernatural, disaster, etc.)


Non-Canon Summer Challenge #2

[Image: f6f2da2d6729dc36cdcf62121e04bdc6.png]
Your challenge (if you choose to accept it) is to create a TBBT story about a summer adventure. Examples: Paintball, Kite flying, Mini Golf, Experiment of some type, Theme (or water) Park, Beach, Camping, Apocalypse training, Road trip

Rules:
1. Pairings must be non-canon (Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc) Please remember to list the pairing in your story description. (Can go from canon to non-canon pairing during the story)

2. Must be posted to FanFiction or Ao3 by August 30th, 2017


There is no restriction on length, rating or type (platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Hero, Supernatural, disaster, etc.)]]> <![CDATA[What Is Fan Fiction - and why is it making people nervous]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=618 Mon, 24 Apr 2017 19:53:04 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=618
What Is Fan Fiction - and why is it making people nervous By Stephen Downes]]>
What Is Fan Fiction - and why is it making people nervous By Stephen Downes]]> <![CDATA[Banned from Comic-Con]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=607 Sun, 12 Mar 2017 09:38:59 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=607 The gang set out investigating every joint and bar.
We had high expectations of their hospitality
But found too late it wasn't geared for gamers such as we.

Chorus: And we're banned from Comic-Con, ev'ryone
Banned from Comic-Con just for having a little fun
We spent a jolly geek fest there just for three days or four
But Comic-Con doesn't want us any more

Leonard's tastes were simple, but his methods were complex
We found him pursuing five dif'rent girls, whining at them all for sex
Security were on the way, he got no second chance
We pulled him away in the nick of time, still in his baggy pants

Our Penny, she would yield to none at putting down the brew
She out-drank seven cosplayers and a demonstration crew
An attempt to drown out boredom meant she outdrank almost all
And now they've got the beigemobile on the roof of the great hall

Our proper Dr Cooper was drugged with something green
And hauled into an alley, where he suffered things obscene.
He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
Except a tic, an IQ drop and and the loss of half his hair

Amy Farrah Fowler disappeared into the main bazaar
Buying an odd green cocktail 'guaranteed to cause Pon Farr'
She came home with no cardigan and a truly creepy leer
And a way of making Sheldon twitch and flinch in fear

Howard (no PhD) Wolowitz won a hall-wide bet
By hacking into the attendee's con'frence intranet
Now every time someone calls up on a SdCC screen
The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen

Rajesh loves humanity, though half of it sends him quiet
Security arrested him for inciting a Cosplay riot
We found him in the city jail, and promptly bailed him free
Intact except for hickeys and a Showtunes DVD.

Bernadette loves exotic germs, the germs all love her, too
She took some on the trip with her to see what they would do
'Til the convention manager called us up and swore upon his life
Talking fungus had engulfed his house and then seduced his wife

Wheaton's posse landed, and nobody seemed to care
They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there
Half our gang was dealing cards, and invited them to play
They took one look at 'Warlords of Ka'a' and quickly ran away

(WHEEEATOONN!!)

Our gang is CalTech's finest, and our record is our pride
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
We're sorry about the shitty scripts and the shipwars and the fuss
At least we're sure that fandom won't be quick forgetting us!]]> The gang set out investigating every joint and bar.
We had high expectations of their hospitality
But found too late it wasn't geared for gamers such as we.

Chorus: And we're banned from Comic-Con, ev'ryone
Banned from Comic-Con just for having a little fun
We spent a jolly geek fest there just for three days or four
But Comic-Con doesn't want us any more

Leonard's tastes were simple, but his methods were complex
We found him pursuing five dif'rent girls, whining at them all for sex
Security were on the way, he got no second chance
We pulled him away in the nick of time, still in his baggy pants

Our Penny, she would yield to none at putting down the brew
She out-drank seven cosplayers and a demonstration crew
An attempt to drown out boredom meant she outdrank almost all
And now they've got the beigemobile on the roof of the great hall

Our proper Dr Cooper was drugged with something green
And hauled into an alley, where he suffered things obscene.
He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
Except a tic, an IQ drop and and the loss of half his hair

Amy Farrah Fowler disappeared into the main bazaar
Buying an odd green cocktail 'guaranteed to cause Pon Farr'
She came home with no cardigan and a truly creepy leer
And a way of making Sheldon twitch and flinch in fear

Howard (no PhD) Wolowitz won a hall-wide bet
By hacking into the attendee's con'frence intranet
Now every time someone calls up on a SdCC screen
The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen

Rajesh loves humanity, though half of it sends him quiet
Security arrested him for inciting a Cosplay riot
We found him in the city jail, and promptly bailed him free
Intact except for hickeys and a Showtunes DVD.

Bernadette loves exotic germs, the germs all love her, too
She took some on the trip with her to see what they would do
'Til the convention manager called us up and swore upon his life
Talking fungus had engulfed his house and then seduced his wife

Wheaton's posse landed, and nobody seemed to care
They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there
Half our gang was dealing cards, and invited them to play
They took one look at 'Warlords of Ka'a' and quickly ran away

(WHEEEATOONN!!)

Our gang is CalTech's finest, and our record is our pride
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
We're sorry about the shitty scripts and the shipwars and the fuss
At least we're sure that fandom won't be quick forgetting us!]]> <![CDATA[Tropes Fanfic Readers Love (or Hate)]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=606 Thu, 09 Mar 2017 18:59:54 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=606
Five Tropes Fanfic Readers Love (and One They Hate)]]>
Five Tropes Fanfic Readers Love (and One They Hate)]]> <![CDATA[Saturnalia Shenanigans Challenge 2016]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=540 Tue, 01 Nov 2016 19:25:05 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=540

1. Must be a non-canon pairing (Sheldon/Penny, Howard/Raj, Leonard/Bernadette, Stuart/Lucy, Burt/Amy, etc.)

2. Must be a seasonal story: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Grav Mas, New Years, Etc.

3. Must include a prank war, OR a road trip, OR playing a game of D & D (bonus points and Pirate cookies/Jammie Dodgers if you use all three)

4. One-shot or multi-chapter and must be between 500 - 10,000 words long

5. Try to keep it Romantic, Friendship or Smut (lets keep the angst to a minimum for the holidays)

6. Must be posted (on FF or Ao3) by/on January 1, 2017

This challenge can be any rating.]]>

1. Must be a non-canon pairing (Sheldon/Penny, Howard/Raj, Leonard/Bernadette, Stuart/Lucy, Burt/Amy, etc.)

2. Must be a seasonal story: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Grav Mas, New Years, Etc.

3. Must include a prank war, OR a road trip, OR playing a game of D & D (bonus points and Pirate cookies/Jammie Dodgers if you use all three)

4. One-shot or multi-chapter and must be between 500 - 10,000 words long

5. Try to keep it Romantic, Friendship or Smut (lets keep the angst to a minimum for the holidays)

6. Must be posted (on FF or Ao3) by/on January 1, 2017

This challenge can be any rating.]]> <![CDATA[2016 Fall Fan Fiction Challenges]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=539 Sun, 28 Aug 2016 08:37:45 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=539 Calling all non-canon writers! This Fall we have two different challenges for you to participate in, so grab your favorite quill and ink and get to writing, you scurvy bilge rats. Wink


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1. Must be a non-canon pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

2. Must have them dealing with Pirates, talking about Pirates, or being Pirates

3. Must be posted (to Fanfiction.net or Ao3) by/on September 19th, 2016 for International Talk Like A Pirate Day

There is no restriction on length, rating or type (Angst, Friendship, Romance, Smut, etc.)


AND/OR



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1. Must be a non-canon pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in the story description)

2. Must be Supernatural (vampires, witches, werewolves, ghosts, demons, etc.), OR a Murder Mystery (think Christie, Doyle, Clue/Cluedo, Scooby Gang, etc) OR you can take a scene/chapter from your favorite (scary) Play/Book/Movie and rewrite it for your non-canon pairing

3. Can be a one-shot, or multi-chapter (but no more than 5,000 words)

4. Must be posted (to Fanfiction.net or Ao3) by/on October 31st, 2016

There is no restriction on rating or type (Angst, Friendship, Romance, Smut, etc.)]]> Calling all non-canon writers! This Fall we have two different challenges for you to participate in, so grab your favorite quill and ink and get to writing, you scurvy bilge rats. Wink


.png   Screen Shot 2016-08-30 at 13.39.45.png (Size: 32.78 KB / Downloads: 219)
1. Must be a non-canon pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in your story description)

2. Must have them dealing with Pirates, talking about Pirates, or being Pirates

3. Must be posted (to Fanfiction.net or Ao3) by/on September 19th, 2016 for International Talk Like A Pirate Day

There is no restriction on length, rating or type (Angst, Friendship, Romance, Smut, etc.)


AND/OR



.png   Screen Shot 2016-08-30 at 13.39.51.png (Size: 24.6 KB / Downloads: 363)

1. Must be a non-canon pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Amy, Howard/Raj, Amy/Raj, Bernadette/Penny, Sheldon/Leonard, etc (Please remember to list the pairing in the story description)

2. Must be Supernatural (vampires, witches, werewolves, ghosts, demons, etc.), OR a Murder Mystery (think Christie, Doyle, Clue/Cluedo, Scooby Gang, etc) OR you can take a scene/chapter from your favorite (scary) Play/Book/Movie and rewrite it for your non-canon pairing

3. Can be a one-shot, or multi-chapter (but no more than 5,000 words)

4. Must be posted (to Fanfiction.net or Ao3) by/on October 31st, 2016

There is no restriction on rating or type (Angst, Friendship, Romance, Smut, etc.)]]> <![CDATA[Entropy]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=498 Fri, 18 Mar 2016 13:08:15 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=498 Entropy, and I would love for the people of this forum to read it and give me some criticism or perspectives. I'm not exactly a new member here, I've signed up and lurked and whatever. This isn't a plug for anything. I just started back writing and I still have my planned outline, but I'm no longer as familiar with the series as I once was. I would like to have somebody to kind of bounce ideas off and talk to so I can get back in the "zone" of writing Shenny.

So, you guys got something for me?

~SK]]> Entropy, and I would love for the people of this forum to read it and give me some criticism or perspectives. I'm not exactly a new member here, I've signed up and lurked and whatever. This isn't a plug for anything. I just started back writing and I still have my planned outline, but I'm no longer as familiar with the series as I once was. I would like to have somebody to kind of bounce ideas off and talk to so I can get back in the "zone" of writing Shenny.

So, you guys got something for me?

~SK]]> <![CDATA[Searching for a FanFic]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=699 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 15:12:11 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=699 LiveLongProsper was working on a great M fic called "The Rooftop Voyeur Anomaly" that was never finished and she seemed to leave fanfic. ]]> LiveLongProsper was working on a great M fic called "The Rooftop Voyeur Anomaly" that was never finished and she seemed to leave fanfic. ]]> <![CDATA[Missing in Action - The Lost Shenny Writers]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=440 Fri, 22 Jan 2016 08:22:31 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=440 Searching for a FanFic. Authors and stories which have been found will be in this thread. Starting with:

The Frisky Firelily

1. The Libido Revelation
"Whilst sneaking into the boys apartment one night Penny makes an interesting discovery." (M)

There are other stories by Frisky Firelily but thanks to RevDorothyL we now know there was only ever one Shenny FF by this author.]]> Searching for a FanFic. Authors and stories which have been found will be in this thread. Starting with:

The Frisky Firelily

1. The Libido Revelation
"Whilst sneaking into the boys apartment one night Penny makes an interesting discovery." (M)

There are other stories by Frisky Firelily but thanks to RevDorothyL we now know there was only ever one Shenny FF by this author.]]> <![CDATA[The "Other" ship fanfic]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=429 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 02:17:34 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=429
I know we've had a member who has so graciously pored over all the fanfiction and categorized all of the Shenny fics and the like. If I recall correctly we had a majority of the postings as of September. In the last eight weeks 'they' seem to be catching up.

In November the NaNoWriMo takes up the time of many authors as well as the beginning of the Holiday season. I understand if this is the cause, though it hasn't seemed as drastic in years past.

In that period of time I've also noticed the increase of vitriol directed towards us from the 'others'   (I've never in any other fandom seen people so mean, crass and juvenile all at the same time. I wonder if the Shamy fans are teenagers (would explain why they think those are good relationships) who just learned some of theses word (seriously if you are going to curse at me, use the word in a context that makes sense)  (NO OFFENSE to Teens-not all of them are simple minded)
This coincided with TPTB  finally sinking the plot to an all time low. 

Their fanfic just seems to be rehashing cannon (I suspect they don't understand fanfiction.)  And most not very well (another reason I think its a group of 14 year olds.)

So am I wondering, have the Shenny writers, or writers who focus on a more authentic approach to any of the characters,   Run out of steam?   Tired of be abused?    Just on a break?     Disheartened by current plot?

I  currently couldn't write a Shenny now. (I've also lost hope for Howard, he was so light and funny  Tongue.) 
Anything I could come up with would be let them be happy singles or an OC.]]>
I know we've had a member who has so graciously pored over all the fanfiction and categorized all of the Shenny fics and the like. If I recall correctly we had a majority of the postings as of September. In the last eight weeks 'they' seem to be catching up.

In November the NaNoWriMo takes up the time of many authors as well as the beginning of the Holiday season. I understand if this is the cause, though it hasn't seemed as drastic in years past.

In that period of time I've also noticed the increase of vitriol directed towards us from the 'others'   (I've never in any other fandom seen people so mean, crass and juvenile all at the same time. I wonder if the Shamy fans are teenagers (would explain why they think those are good relationships) who just learned some of theses word (seriously if you are going to curse at me, use the word in a context that makes sense)  (NO OFFENSE to Teens-not all of them are simple minded)
This coincided with TPTB  finally sinking the plot to an all time low. 

Their fanfic just seems to be rehashing cannon (I suspect they don't understand fanfiction.)  And most not very well (another reason I think its a group of 14 year olds.)

So am I wondering, have the Shenny writers, or writers who focus on a more authentic approach to any of the characters,   Run out of steam?   Tired of be abused?    Just on a break?     Disheartened by current plot?

I  currently couldn't write a Shenny now. (I've also lost hope for Howard, he was so light and funny  Tongue.) 
Anything I could come up with would be let them be happy singles or an OC.]]> <![CDATA[Merry Newtonmas (Fan fiction Challenge)]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=418 Sat, 05 Dec 2015 21:48:29 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=418
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Happy Saturnalia to all the Shenny shippers. Wherever you are, in all four corners of the globe, we know what Christmas means to Sheldon and Penny. Just some of the best Shenny scenes ever!! So with that in mind we invite you to write a Christmas fic. And wish you a happy Christmas and New Year.

It can be as short or as long as you like.
It can be a Christmas day where they open presents...
Or anywhere your imagination goes.]]>
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Happy Saturnalia to all the Shenny shippers. Wherever you are, in all four corners of the globe, we know what Christmas means to Sheldon and Penny. Just some of the best Shenny scenes ever!! So with that in mind we invite you to write a Christmas fic. And wish you a happy Christmas and New Year.

It can be as short or as long as you like.
It can be a Christmas day where they open presents...
Or anywhere your imagination goes.]]> <![CDATA[Shenny at the Movies (Fan Fiction Challenge)]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=410 Thu, 29 Oct 2015 13:09:41 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=410 Shenny at the Movies


For this this challenge just take your fave movie scene and rewrite it for Sheldon and Penny. 

It can be a romantic and classic like this...

[Image: Sheldon-Penny-manip_zpsujrv5jlp.jpg]

Or platonic and a fun like this...

[Image: 1z3t384.jpg]

There are only 3 rules:

1. Rewrite a scene from a movie for Sheldon and Penny. Or summarize a movie with them as leads.
2. Only one chapter long.
2. Anything up to 2,500 words.
3. We must be able to recognise the characters.

If you'd rather we didn't guess, please let us know either through the title or intro what your crossover movie is. Guessing might be fun though. If you post on ff.net please add your fic in the normal section and not the crossover section, so we can find them and they stay together for the challenge.

Deadline is New Years Day 2016. Edit : Going to keep this challenge running as it has so much potential. No deadline.

Thanks to Idle Miscreant for this challenge prompt and for those of you who don't write, please feel free to create manips instead.

If you are not a member and would like to send us your story or manips email us here.

Edit: 12 stories so far, see below ...]]> Shenny at the Movies


For this this challenge just take your fave movie scene and rewrite it for Sheldon and Penny. 

It can be a romantic and classic like this...

[Image: Sheldon-Penny-manip_zpsujrv5jlp.jpg]

Or platonic and a fun like this...

[Image: 1z3t384.jpg]

There are only 3 rules:

1. Rewrite a scene from a movie for Sheldon and Penny. Or summarize a movie with them as leads.
2. Only one chapter long.
2. Anything up to 2,500 words.
3. We must be able to recognise the characters.

If you'd rather we didn't guess, please let us know either through the title or intro what your crossover movie is. Guessing might be fun though. If you post on ff.net please add your fic in the normal section and not the crossover section, so we can find them and they stay together for the challenge.

Deadline is New Years Day 2016. Edit : Going to keep this challenge running as it has so much potential. No deadline.

Thanks to Idle Miscreant for this challenge prompt and for those of you who don't write, please feel free to create manips instead.

If you are not a member and would like to send us your story or manips email us here.

Edit: 12 stories so far, see below ...]]> <![CDATA[100 Ways to Kill a Doctor Halloween Challenge]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=401 Mon, 12 Oct 2015 17:28:50 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=401 (3.23)  Mortadella di cioccolato

Sheldon blinked at the police officer.


“I'd only just met the woman.” he said. “My so-called friends blackmailed me by use of soiled hosiery to ensure my attendance.”


“Right...” Officer Candless decided he didn't want to pursue that avenue. “So, yourself and Doctor Fowler were standing at the counter waiting to order drinks, when the suspect entered the premises.”


“If by 'entered', you mean, crashed through the doorway like a maddened Rancor, then yes.”


“And he knocked both you and Doctor Fowler forward, whereupon you struck your chest on the counter, but Doctor Fowler being of smaller stature, was pushed face-first into the cake stand?”


“That is self-evident.” Sheldon nursed his ribs.


“And Doctor Fowler promptly asphyxiated on a mixture of frosting and buttercream?”


They both looked at the limp body being lifted off the counter. Sheldon nodded sadly.


“Death by Chocolate.” he said.


(7.01)  That Is Not Dead


Penny ambled back into her apartment, sorting her mail. She'd had a surprisingly pleasant evening, watching a movie and eating Chinese food with Sheldon. For once, it had just been them. (Leonard was away on his science expedition, and Amy was busy tormenting small primates for Big Pharma.)


“Ow.” Something had nicked her thumb. She scuffled in the pile, pulled out a card. Heavy, yellowed stock that felt almost like leather, the angular script faded to a deep rust, bordered by a strange, sinuous pattern, all whorls and interlocking curves.


“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn...” She murmured. Tilted her head and frowned. “Must be one of the guys' Klingon thingies.”


She tucked it down by the microwave, where it nested in amongst the takeout flyers, and promptly forgot about it.


...and miles away, beneath the ocean, far beneath the small exploration vessel upon which Leonard Hofstadter was engaged in the pursuit of science and Mandy Chow, something vast and tentacled stirred...]]> (3.23)  Mortadella di cioccolato

Sheldon blinked at the police officer.


“I'd only just met the woman.” he said. “My so-called friends blackmailed me by use of soiled hosiery to ensure my attendance.”


“Right...” Officer Candless decided he didn't want to pursue that avenue. “So, yourself and Doctor Fowler were standing at the counter waiting to order drinks, when the suspect entered the premises.”


“If by 'entered', you mean, crashed through the doorway like a maddened Rancor, then yes.”


“And he knocked both you and Doctor Fowler forward, whereupon you struck your chest on the counter, but Doctor Fowler being of smaller stature, was pushed face-first into the cake stand?”


“That is self-evident.” Sheldon nursed his ribs.


“And Doctor Fowler promptly asphyxiated on a mixture of frosting and buttercream?”


They both looked at the limp body being lifted off the counter. Sheldon nodded sadly.


“Death by Chocolate.” he said.


(7.01)  That Is Not Dead


Penny ambled back into her apartment, sorting her mail. She'd had a surprisingly pleasant evening, watching a movie and eating Chinese food with Sheldon. For once, it had just been them. (Leonard was away on his science expedition, and Amy was busy tormenting small primates for Big Pharma.)


“Ow.” Something had nicked her thumb. She scuffled in the pile, pulled out a card. Heavy, yellowed stock that felt almost like leather, the angular script faded to a deep rust, bordered by a strange, sinuous pattern, all whorls and interlocking curves.


“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn...” She murmured. Tilted her head and frowned. “Must be one of the guys' Klingon thingies.”


She tucked it down by the microwave, where it nested in amongst the takeout flyers, and promptly forgot about it.


...and miles away, beneath the ocean, far beneath the small exploration vessel upon which Leonard Hofstadter was engaged in the pursuit of science and Mandy Chow, something vast and tentacled stirred...]]> <![CDATA[Plot Bunny Farm]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=258 Mon, 10 Nov 2014 15:34:27 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=258
Golden Compass – 'Shadows and Dust' Sheldon as the expert on 'Dust', trying to decode the alethiometer before his rivals in Oxford.

Ancient Rome - A citizen buys a blonde barbarian slave girl. His Centurion colleague opines that she will almost certainly stab them in their sleep, if her terrible cooking doesn't get them first.

Dark City/Adjustment Bureau – 'Dork City' Writes itself, really.

H P Lovecraft - ditto. There's even a built-in Eldritch Abomination. And I'm fairly sure Leonard's family are from New England. Non-Euclidian geometry, academic feuds and that annoying upstairs neighbour with the viola...

Pirates - more PotC and Cutthroat Island than historically accurate. But Sheldon's from Galveston, he's far more likely to have pirates and rumrunners in his ancestry than cowboys. Though -

Wild (Wild) West - More Brisco County Jnr than Alias Smith and Jones, probably, but Penny as Calamity Jane would work.

Prohibition/Noir - Howard would make a good gangster in the tradition of Dutch Schultz. Smoky nightclubs, a blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window, and a hard-boiled PI (who doesn't actually like whisky or cigarettes)

Highlander - Because swords. Either Sheldon discovers Penny beheading someone in a parking lot, or she discovers that Sheldon has been hiding out with the Cooper clan since the American Revolutionary War. (A little 'Sleepy Hollow' may or may not have crept in here.)

Renaissance Italy - DaVinci! Sheldon, Penny the tavern wench who models for artists, Leonard the artist who has no paint on his paintbrush. Howard the brilliant artificer and Raj the mute astronomer. Dodging the Inquisition in Venice. Masks, political skulduggery and canals to fall in.

Medieval – 'The Nerd of the Rose' Sheldon in that cassock in 'Codpiece Topology' needs to be sleuthing about in a creepy monastic library.

Screwball Romance/Crime Caper - Anything Hawksian can be rewritten for these guys. And there's things like 'The Lady Vanishes', too. Crime AND trains.

Pacific Rim – 'Kitty Lantern'

Bladerunner - Penny the 'skin job' hiding out in the building.

B-movies in general - there are loads of sci-fi, horror and crime plots that could stand a savvy waitress and an uptight scientist bickering through them. Some actually did in the first place. 'Alien Trespass' pretty much only needs names changing.

Hobo - something about Sheldon in that hat in 'Pancake Batter', just imagining them all in some bizarre Beckett-like existence under a bridge or something, bickering round a bin fire. Like the Canting Crew in Discworld.

Brave New World - Bernard/Leonard, Lenina/Penny and John the Savage/Sheldon

It's possible that some of these might end up in the Arkham Collection, but I'd love to see other people have a go. (And if anyone's wondering why something obvious like 'The Mummy' isn't on here, yeah, I'm writing that one already.)]]>
Golden Compass – 'Shadows and Dust' Sheldon as the expert on 'Dust', trying to decode the alethiometer before his rivals in Oxford.

Ancient Rome - A citizen buys a blonde barbarian slave girl. His Centurion colleague opines that she will almost certainly stab them in their sleep, if her terrible cooking doesn't get them first.

Dark City/Adjustment Bureau – 'Dork City' Writes itself, really.

H P Lovecraft - ditto. There's even a built-in Eldritch Abomination. And I'm fairly sure Leonard's family are from New England. Non-Euclidian geometry, academic feuds and that annoying upstairs neighbour with the viola...

Pirates - more PotC and Cutthroat Island than historically accurate. But Sheldon's from Galveston, he's far more likely to have pirates and rumrunners in his ancestry than cowboys. Though -

Wild (Wild) West - More Brisco County Jnr than Alias Smith and Jones, probably, but Penny as Calamity Jane would work.

Prohibition/Noir - Howard would make a good gangster in the tradition of Dutch Schultz. Smoky nightclubs, a blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window, and a hard-boiled PI (who doesn't actually like whisky or cigarettes)

Highlander - Because swords. Either Sheldon discovers Penny beheading someone in a parking lot, or she discovers that Sheldon has been hiding out with the Cooper clan since the American Revolutionary War. (A little 'Sleepy Hollow' may or may not have crept in here.)

Renaissance Italy - DaVinci! Sheldon, Penny the tavern wench who models for artists, Leonard the artist who has no paint on his paintbrush. Howard the brilliant artificer and Raj the mute astronomer. Dodging the Inquisition in Venice. Masks, political skulduggery and canals to fall in.

Medieval – 'The Nerd of the Rose' Sheldon in that cassock in 'Codpiece Topology' needs to be sleuthing about in a creepy monastic library.

Screwball Romance/Crime Caper - Anything Hawksian can be rewritten for these guys. And there's things like 'The Lady Vanishes', too. Crime AND trains.

Pacific Rim – 'Kitty Lantern'

Bladerunner - Penny the 'skin job' hiding out in the building.

B-movies in general - there are loads of sci-fi, horror and crime plots that could stand a savvy waitress and an uptight scientist bickering through them. Some actually did in the first place. 'Alien Trespass' pretty much only needs names changing.

Hobo - something about Sheldon in that hat in 'Pancake Batter', just imagining them all in some bizarre Beckett-like existence under a bridge or something, bickering round a bin fire. Like the Canting Crew in Discworld.

Brave New World - Bernard/Leonard, Lenina/Penny and John the Savage/Sheldon

It's possible that some of these might end up in the Arkham Collection, but I'd love to see other people have a go. (And if anyone's wondering why something obvious like 'The Mummy' isn't on here, yeah, I'm writing that one already.)]]> <![CDATA[Belated Halloween Fic]]> https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=255 Sat, 08 Nov 2014 19:39:37 +0000 https://shennyhq.co.uk/dir/showthread.php?tid=255
She left Bernadette and Amy cooing over some Disney Princess costumes (not revisiting that trauma today) and headed off down the aisle, more to referee between Sheldon and Leonard than anything else. The Other Comic Store was having a costume party, and the group theme was being hotly debated.

She'd just caught up with them by a rack of coats, in the middle of a row about Marvel versus DC, when a little girl of maybe six years old ran down the aisle, waving a cutlass. She had a cardboard tricorne holding back a tangle of dark curls, and a pair of gauzy wings strapped somewhat askew.

“Aww.” said Penny, smiling mistily. Leonard, seeing a way to score Nice Guy points, leant down and plastered a sugary smile on his face.

“Hello, are you a fairy princess?”

The little girl kicked him in the crotch with devastating accuracy.

“Momma says I mustn't talk to strangers.”

“Quite right.” Sheldon said. “You should have introduced yourself first, Leonard. Hello, I am Doctor Sheldon Cooper, and you are quite obviously a fairy pirate.”

“I'm Captain Tinkerhell.” The scamp said proudly, and waved her cutlass. “This way, I get a sword.”

“Jessamine...” A slightly panicked call, and a man rounded the end of the aisle.

“Granpa.” The mite scampered towards him.

“There you are.” The haggard alarm melted away, as the man swung her up onto his hip. “What did I tell you about running away?”

“Don't do it, 'cos Daddy will be lining up to thump what Momma leaves of you if anything happens to me.”

“Absolutely. To say nothing of what everyone else would do.”

“But I kicked a guy, just like Aunty Cor taught me.”

“Jolly good.” The sharp dark gaze swept over the still wheezing Leonard, and somehow the shadows around them seemed to get a little thicker. “Were you bothering my granddaughter?”

“Oh, he was just a silly man. The tall one says he's a Doctor. Does that mean he's got a stethyscope and bandages and sews people up when they get bit?”

“I'm not that sort of Doctor.” Sheldon said, a little huffily. “I'm a physicist.”

“You're all about time and relative dimension in space, then?” The man gave a smirk. “I've dabbled a little in physics myself, mostly chaos theory.”

He set the tiny Captain down, though still keeping a hold of one hand. The child poked Leonard with her cutlass in a desultory way, and then lost interest in him, in favour of looking up at Penny.

“Granpa's a wizard. We've been casting spells for Hall'ween.”

“Yes, and when I have got you well dosed up on sugar and mischief, I shall hand you back to your parents, who will no doubt thank me very much for it.” The impish grins were very similar. “You know, I may have seen just the thing for you...”

The persuasive honey of his voice washed over them...

000000000

Later that evening...

Anyone looking into the back room of the store would have seen a rather unusual sight. Oh, the candles and ritual paraphernalia around the makeshift altar were odd, but nothing weirder than most New Age shops. The big glowing circle of blue-green light hanging in the air to one side wasn't something seen outside of movie FX, generally.

The man finished his chant, and got to his feet, brushing off his knees.

“Got your bag of goodies, then?”

“Yes, Granpa.” She clutched the grocery bag with both hands, proffered it up.

“Right then, time to go home. Just one last thing to do.”

“Can I do it?”

“Of course, my dear.” He picked her up under the arms, and she slapped both hands down on the statue on the altar.

“Showtime!” Her little chirrup and his deep tones sounded together, and she giggled as the force rippled out.

He hitched the child up onto his hip, and looked back at the faintly glowing statue. No stay and gloat this time, he had learned some things over the years. Grinning cheerfully, he stepped through the portal back to his own dimension.

000000000

Leonard was sulking. He'd wanted Penny to be Rose, but neither Emily nor Bernadette were that keen on dressing up at all, so they had claimed 'Donna' and 'Rose'. Raj made a rather charming Ten, and Howard a rakish Jack. Penny had vetoed the schoolgirl outfit of Romana, and decided on the far fiercer one of Ace. She already owned the bat. So he'd ended up as Seven, and the umbrella made him feel like the Penguin.

Sheldon, in tweed and a bow-tie, looked like he'd escaped out of Howard Hawks comedy rather than all of time and space. Penny would have bullied him into a leather jacket as Nine, if anything, but once Amy had registered the words 'Doctor's Wife' she hadn't been concerned about any further details. Though her attempt to dress as 'Idris' had left her looking, in Penny's private opinion, rather more like Bellatrix Lestrange.

There was an odd...shimmer across the room for just a second, and he wondered if someone had spiked the punch. Beside him, Penny gave a little lurch, shook her head.

Then Sheldon suddenly straightened up, stared down at his hands, and said, in startlingly British tones,

“Oh, bloody hell!”

000000000

The previous owner of the tweed jacket was not a Time Lord. He was a highly intelligent and capable scholar and researcher. And when he opened his eyes, and found himself looking out at an unfamiliar room filled with familiar seasonal trappings, it had only taken one look down at a strange and much younger body, before he knew exactly what was going on.

“Hey!”

A blonde in a leather jacket with a baseball bat, looking very dangerous. The face was unfamiliar, but the stance and expression were not.

“Buffy?...”

“Giles?” She half-lowered the bat. “What's the what, Watcher mine?”

“I'm sure that this is the jacket I threw out a while back...” He sniffed the sleeve. “Yes, still smells of Gsh'krr slime.”

“Eeuw...” She looked down. “And this is that jacket Xander said gave me linebackers shoulders.”

The others looked between them, wondering when Penny had decided to get in on this whole role-playing thing. As usual, there was jealousy and resentment at the easy way they fell into a rhythm, moving in synch towards the door.

“So, we have a fairly good idea of which pillock is responsible.” Sheldon said. “This is not the first time he's done this, after all.”

He looked sharper, a lot more focussed than normal. Penny, too, seemed almost predatory.

“Do I get to slay him this time?”

Howard made a strangled noise of comprehension, ducked back when they both swung round to glare at him.

“Make with the splainey.” Buffy hefted the bat. “Or say hello to a home run.”

“Sheldon!”

Something closely resembling the first Mrs Rochester flung herself at Giles.

“Good Lord.” He tried to fend her off, looking utterly horrified. “Madam, I have no idea who you are...”

She clung to his arm, resisting attempts to shake her off, blinking beadily up at him.

“Don't be so ridiculous. Stop this silly play-acting nonsense with Penny right now. You know very well that I'm your girlfriend, and you aren't going anywhere without me ever again.”

“We don't have time for this.” Buffy swung the bat with careful precision. (For some reason there was an immense glow of satisfaction at the impact.) She hopped over the prone form. “Now, costume store is where?”

Several people pointed swiftly and helpfully.

000000000

“So, in this world, we're a...television show? And someone dressed as me for Halloween?”

(The short man in the greatcoat had talked very fast indeed. There had been a proffering of comics and DVD boxsets and little plastic action figures, which had been creepy as hell.)

“More...somebody wore a bit of your old clothing as part of a costume.” He flicked an eye over her. “By the other costumes, I'd say this was a Doctor Who theme party. I sincerely hope that doesn't mean there are any bloody Daleks about.”

“This body has good taste in shoes.” The blonde waggled a foot. “Pity they'll get all messed up kicking your friend unconscious...”

(A short man in glasses had tried to grab her as they left. She did feel a bit guilty about leaving him wheezing on the floor with a half-dislocated arm, but jumping out at a pissed off Slayer was usually asking for a close up and personal with Mr Pointy, so hey, restraint and moderation. She felt she was growing as a person.)

Maybe it was their surroundings, but events certainly seemed brighter and more benign than the last occurrence. Virtually everything they could see running amok was either Disney, under three feet tall, or both. Three excited Ariels were splashing in the fountain, and something blue and four-armed was pulling apart a machine, but since it was at Build-A-Bear, for some reason, Giles didn't feel like stopping it. Buffy wasn't getting any demon-y vibes at all.

She eyed the body Giles was in. A bit skinny, but almost cute, in a lanky, blue-eyed sort of way. It worked with the Giles-y accent. She was in something blonde, female and - slightly taller than usual. That was okay. Maybe she'd pull her punches, just a little, for that.

They weren't entirely surprised to find the store dark and empty. Buffy opened the back by the simple expedient of pulling the door handle off, and then kicking.

“I could have picked the lock.”

“But I have some aggression to work off. I think your friend has skipped.”

“Pity. I've got some aggression to work off, too. Oh, yes, and there's the glowy-eyed statue, over-theatrical bloody ponce...”

“Kind of weird, being the possessor, rather than the possessee. I wonder if we'll remember any of this?”

“If we do, I am going to knock seven bells out of that twit when I next see him.”

“Me, first.” She lined up the shot, and swung.

000000000

Penny looked from the baseball bat in her hands, to the smashed statue on the floor.

“What the hell...”

“Oooowww.” Sheldon rubbed his forehead. “Penny?”

“Yeah, I think so.” She shook her head, confused memories swirling...

And then everyone else came piling in through the doors, vociferous and shrill, arguments and complaints and asthma making any further conversation impossible. Amy was demanding that Sheldon take her home and stay with her, just in case she had concussion, hauling him away from Penny with a ferocious grip. Leonard latched onto her, wanting explanations. Bernadette was berating everyone for being silly, and Emily appeared to have abandoned Raj entirely. Helpless and bewildered, they were swept apart by the unrelenting forces.

000000000

Sheldon found the note in the pocket of the jacket later. He had convinced (demanded that) Raj drive Amy to the ER when she had explained Penny's vicious and unprovoked assault. When the waiting room proved to be full of panicked parents, and excitable children, a harried nurse had taken one look at the group, and demanded that all the unhurt ones leave, and he had managed to evade Amy's clutching grasp with only a very minor pang of guilt, and fled.

“The spell will either have dissipated of its own accord at midnight, or you smashed the statue.

I could apologise for the inconvenience, but that would be a lie. Be assured that I sold nothing hazardous this time around, though – I am after all, if not an entirely reformed character, in the present company of my granddaughter, and I would allow nothing to harm her.

Firstly, all worlds are real somewhere. (I suggest Heinlein's 'The Number of the Beast' on the subject - once you get past his tiresome enthusiasm for incest, the general theory is sound.) As some version of our reality is your fiction, so are you to us.

Also, your reality is one that still stocks a variety of cake product discontinued in my world, and my granddaughter was keen to get some for her daddy.

Everything else was just for the hell of it.”

It was signed with a smiley face.

Sheldon looked at the note for a long moment.

“Wanker.” He growled, then blinked at the sound of his own voice.

000000000

A couple of days later, and Sheldon was sitting with a cup of tea, watching the news. He glanced up as Penny came through the door.

“I went back through the mall, and there's no sign of that store. Half of it is still closed off for repair, but I swear there's a cell-phone concession there now.”

“The authorities are claiming it was some kind of gas leak, causing hallucinations.” Sheldon unfolded off the couch. “Tea?”

“You still sound British.” She plumped down in the vacated spot, just to bug him. “You're gonna have to bully the maintenance guy again, another doorknob came off in my hand today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It's been a sucky few days. I've been having some really weird dreams. And when Leonard woke me up unexpectedly, I kicked him out of bed and right across the room.”

“Hmm.” Sheldon looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he flung a kitchen knife at her.

Penny caught it. By the handle. And sat there, eyes crossed at the blade pointing at her face.

“What the hell!”

“Penny, do you recall a tv show called 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer'?”

“What's that got to do with you throwing a freaking knife at me, you lunatic!?”

Sheldon explained. Penny stared at him. Sheldon started to explain again, but she waved a hand at him.

“No, I got it. I just don't believe it. You think we became characters off a goofy tv show?”

“Not...entirely.” Sheldon blinked. “Though I am not as conversant with the show as I am other shows within Joss Whedon's oeuvre, since my mother did not approve of anything with supernatural creatures in it, I am sure that certain events happened very differently to the way I...he remembered them. I think we became versions of the actual people.”

“So you threw a knife at me.”

“And you caught it.”

“Oh.” She thought about that. “Oh crap.”

“Try picking up the couch.” Sheldon suggested. Penny gave him a weird look, but put a hand under the edge of the furniture and lifted.

When the whole thing rose in the air without effort, she was so surprised she dropped it with a shriek.

“Super strength, check. I have some ideas about how to test the healing factor...”

“Woah, back the hell up...” Penny huffed angrily. “Sheldon, I can pick up a freaking couch with one hand, what am I supposed to do?”

“Yes, well...” Sheldon fumbled at the bridge of his nose for non-existent glasses. “You could hunt vampires?”

“I don't think they exist in this reality...” She looked momentarily doubtful. “The only wiggins I've had recently has been around Amy.”

Sheldon twitched slightly. Having the ghost-memories of a man who had been far more adept with women – and with a taste for exotic beauties, at that – meant that he, too, suffered what Penny described as 'a wiggins' around his erstwhile girlfriend, though for very different reasons.

“So, what did you get from this?”

“I'm not entirely sure. The man was a historian, which is useless in my line of work. And as for all the, huh, knowledge about magic and demons, well, I mean, really, as if it were as simple as waving a hand and saying 'liber incendio'...”

Five exciting minutes later, after they had smothered the remains of the blazing magazines with a couple of wet towels, Penny threw open the window to let the last of the smoke out.

Sheldon was regarding his hand with glassy-eyed alarm.

“Fascinating.” he said, weakly. Then perked up. “A whole new field of energy manipulation.”

000000000

And so life went on.

After Penny made three citizen's arrests of muggers within a fortnight, the local cops asked if she'd ever thought of becoming a reserve officer. She ended up qualifying to teach self-defence classes, and won a civilian marksmanship award. And with the ghost-memories of being brooded at by experts, she really didn't have time for Leonard's sulking.

Sheldon was no longer quite as hopeless at normal social interaction, though he had a tendency to stutter when confronted with Penny at her most...Penny. He still had very little clue about modern pop culture, but had developed a fondness for prog rock. His experiments on 'Quantum Thaumaturgy and the Manipulation of Probability States' were progressing well.

Other things proved a little more problematic to deal with...

They both looked down at the cage in Sheldon's hands. The bald, wrinkled, ugly thing inside flung itself at the bars, chittering angrily, beady little eyes and bared fangs.

“What the hell is that?”

“It's a naked mole rat...” But his eyes skittered away from hers.

“Sheldon...”

“She was going on about coitus again, and I panicked.”

“You can't keep turning people into rodents when they piss you off, sweetie. We still haven't worked out how to turn the others back.”

They looked across at the large habitat against the wall. From within it, a hamster, a pygmy shrew and a couple of guinea pigs all looked accusingly back.

“Technically, Bernadette is a soricomorph, not a rodent...”

“Whatever, it's your turn to change their bedding. Leonard over-stuffed his cheek pouches again, and made himself sick. I'm going to brush Raj.”

Raj, a smug handful of tousled black fur, allowed himself to be carried off. Sheldon regarded the remaining creatures with an unfathomable look.

“I'm sure I'll remember the incantation to return you to your former selves. One day.” He smiled, and the unforced happiness was more disconcerting than his Joker grin had ever been. “Meanwhile, I have Thai food and some vintage video games to share with Penny.”

And humming Jefferson Airplane's 'White Rabbit', he ambled back to the couch, and his spot.

Happy (belated) Hallowhedon, folks. Big Grin ]]>
She left Bernadette and Amy cooing over some Disney Princess costumes (not revisiting that trauma today) and headed off down the aisle, more to referee between Sheldon and Leonard than anything else. The Other Comic Store was having a costume party, and the group theme was being hotly debated.

She'd just caught up with them by a rack of coats, in the middle of a row about Marvel versus DC, when a little girl of maybe six years old ran down the aisle, waving a cutlass. She had a cardboard tricorne holding back a tangle of dark curls, and a pair of gauzy wings strapped somewhat askew.

“Aww.” said Penny, smiling mistily. Leonard, seeing a way to score Nice Guy points, leant down and plastered a sugary smile on his face.

“Hello, are you a fairy princess?”

The little girl kicked him in the crotch with devastating accuracy.

“Momma says I mustn't talk to strangers.”

“Quite right.” Sheldon said. “You should have introduced yourself first, Leonard. Hello, I am Doctor Sheldon Cooper, and you are quite obviously a fairy pirate.”

“I'm Captain Tinkerhell.” The scamp said proudly, and waved her cutlass. “This way, I get a sword.”

“Jessamine...” A slightly panicked call, and a man rounded the end of the aisle.

“Granpa.” The mite scampered towards him.

“There you are.” The haggard alarm melted away, as the man swung her up onto his hip. “What did I tell you about running away?”

“Don't do it, 'cos Daddy will be lining up to thump what Momma leaves of you if anything happens to me.”

“Absolutely. To say nothing of what everyone else would do.”

“But I kicked a guy, just like Aunty Cor taught me.”

“Jolly good.” The sharp dark gaze swept over the still wheezing Leonard, and somehow the shadows around them seemed to get a little thicker. “Were you bothering my granddaughter?”

“Oh, he was just a silly man. The tall one says he's a Doctor. Does that mean he's got a stethyscope and bandages and sews people up when they get bit?”

“I'm not that sort of Doctor.” Sheldon said, a little huffily. “I'm a physicist.”

“You're all about time and relative dimension in space, then?” The man gave a smirk. “I've dabbled a little in physics myself, mostly chaos theory.”

He set the tiny Captain down, though still keeping a hold of one hand. The child poked Leonard with her cutlass in a desultory way, and then lost interest in him, in favour of looking up at Penny.

“Granpa's a wizard. We've been casting spells for Hall'ween.”

“Yes, and when I have got you well dosed up on sugar and mischief, I shall hand you back to your parents, who will no doubt thank me very much for it.” The impish grins were very similar. “You know, I may have seen just the thing for you...”

The persuasive honey of his voice washed over them...

000000000

Later that evening...

Anyone looking into the back room of the store would have seen a rather unusual sight. Oh, the candles and ritual paraphernalia around the makeshift altar were odd, but nothing weirder than most New Age shops. The big glowing circle of blue-green light hanging in the air to one side wasn't something seen outside of movie FX, generally.

The man finished his chant, and got to his feet, brushing off his knees.

“Got your bag of goodies, then?”

“Yes, Granpa.” She clutched the grocery bag with both hands, proffered it up.

“Right then, time to go home. Just one last thing to do.”

“Can I do it?”

“Of course, my dear.” He picked her up under the arms, and she slapped both hands down on the statue on the altar.

“Showtime!” Her little chirrup and his deep tones sounded together, and she giggled as the force rippled out.

He hitched the child up onto his hip, and looked back at the faintly glowing statue. No stay and gloat this time, he had learned some things over the years. Grinning cheerfully, he stepped through the portal back to his own dimension.

000000000

Leonard was sulking. He'd wanted Penny to be Rose, but neither Emily nor Bernadette were that keen on dressing up at all, so they had claimed 'Donna' and 'Rose'. Raj made a rather charming Ten, and Howard a rakish Jack. Penny had vetoed the schoolgirl outfit of Romana, and decided on the far fiercer one of Ace. She already owned the bat. So he'd ended up as Seven, and the umbrella made him feel like the Penguin.

Sheldon, in tweed and a bow-tie, looked like he'd escaped out of Howard Hawks comedy rather than all of time and space. Penny would have bullied him into a leather jacket as Nine, if anything, but once Amy had registered the words 'Doctor's Wife' she hadn't been concerned about any further details. Though her attempt to dress as 'Idris' had left her looking, in Penny's private opinion, rather more like Bellatrix Lestrange.

There was an odd...shimmer across the room for just a second, and he wondered if someone had spiked the punch. Beside him, Penny gave a little lurch, shook her head.

Then Sheldon suddenly straightened up, stared down at his hands, and said, in startlingly British tones,

“Oh, bloody hell!”

000000000

The previous owner of the tweed jacket was not a Time Lord. He was a highly intelligent and capable scholar and researcher. And when he opened his eyes, and found himself looking out at an unfamiliar room filled with familiar seasonal trappings, it had only taken one look down at a strange and much younger body, before he knew exactly what was going on.

“Hey!”

A blonde in a leather jacket with a baseball bat, looking very dangerous. The face was unfamiliar, but the stance and expression were not.

“Buffy?...”

“Giles?” She half-lowered the bat. “What's the what, Watcher mine?”

“I'm sure that this is the jacket I threw out a while back...” He sniffed the sleeve. “Yes, still smells of Gsh'krr slime.”

“Eeuw...” She looked down. “And this is that jacket Xander said gave me linebackers shoulders.”

The others looked between them, wondering when Penny had decided to get in on this whole role-playing thing. As usual, there was jealousy and resentment at the easy way they fell into a rhythm, moving in synch towards the door.

“So, we have a fairly good idea of which pillock is responsible.” Sheldon said. “This is not the first time he's done this, after all.”

He looked sharper, a lot more focussed than normal. Penny, too, seemed almost predatory.

“Do I get to slay him this time?”

Howard made a strangled noise of comprehension, ducked back when they both swung round to glare at him.

“Make with the splainey.” Buffy hefted the bat. “Or say hello to a home run.”

“Sheldon!”

Something closely resembling the first Mrs Rochester flung herself at Giles.

“Good Lord.” He tried to fend her off, looking utterly horrified. “Madam, I have no idea who you are...”

She clung to his arm, resisting attempts to shake her off, blinking beadily up at him.

“Don't be so ridiculous. Stop this silly play-acting nonsense with Penny right now. You know very well that I'm your girlfriend, and you aren't going anywhere without me ever again.”

“We don't have time for this.” Buffy swung the bat with careful precision. (For some reason there was an immense glow of satisfaction at the impact.) She hopped over the prone form. “Now, costume store is where?”

Several people pointed swiftly and helpfully.

000000000

“So, in this world, we're a...television show? And someone dressed as me for Halloween?”

(The short man in the greatcoat had talked very fast indeed. There had been a proffering of comics and DVD boxsets and little plastic action figures, which had been creepy as hell.)

“More...somebody wore a bit of your old clothing as part of a costume.” He flicked an eye over her. “By the other costumes, I'd say this was a Doctor Who theme party. I sincerely hope that doesn't mean there are any bloody Daleks about.”

“This body has good taste in shoes.” The blonde waggled a foot. “Pity they'll get all messed up kicking your friend unconscious...”

(A short man in glasses had tried to grab her as they left. She did feel a bit guilty about leaving him wheezing on the floor with a half-dislocated arm, but jumping out at a pissed off Slayer was usually asking for a close up and personal with Mr Pointy, so hey, restraint and moderation. She felt she was growing as a person.)

Maybe it was their surroundings, but events certainly seemed brighter and more benign than the last occurrence. Virtually everything they could see running amok was either Disney, under three feet tall, or both. Three excited Ariels were splashing in the fountain, and something blue and four-armed was pulling apart a machine, but since it was at Build-A-Bear, for some reason, Giles didn't feel like stopping it. Buffy wasn't getting any demon-y vibes at all.

She eyed the body Giles was in. A bit skinny, but almost cute, in a lanky, blue-eyed sort of way. It worked with the Giles-y accent. She was in something blonde, female and - slightly taller than usual. That was okay. Maybe she'd pull her punches, just a little, for that.

They weren't entirely surprised to find the store dark and empty. Buffy opened the back by the simple expedient of pulling the door handle off, and then kicking.

“I could have picked the lock.”

“But I have some aggression to work off. I think your friend has skipped.”

“Pity. I've got some aggression to work off, too. Oh, yes, and there's the glowy-eyed statue, over-theatrical bloody ponce...”

“Kind of weird, being the possessor, rather than the possessee. I wonder if we'll remember any of this?”

“If we do, I am going to knock seven bells out of that twit when I next see him.”

“Me, first.” She lined up the shot, and swung.

000000000

Penny looked from the baseball bat in her hands, to the smashed statue on the floor.

“What the hell...”

“Oooowww.” Sheldon rubbed his forehead. “Penny?”

“Yeah, I think so.” She shook her head, confused memories swirling...

And then everyone else came piling in through the doors, vociferous and shrill, arguments and complaints and asthma making any further conversation impossible. Amy was demanding that Sheldon take her home and stay with her, just in case she had concussion, hauling him away from Penny with a ferocious grip. Leonard latched onto her, wanting explanations. Bernadette was berating everyone for being silly, and Emily appeared to have abandoned Raj entirely. Helpless and bewildered, they were swept apart by the unrelenting forces.

000000000

Sheldon found the note in the pocket of the jacket later. He had convinced (demanded that) Raj drive Amy to the ER when she had explained Penny's vicious and unprovoked assault. When the waiting room proved to be full of panicked parents, and excitable children, a harried nurse had taken one look at the group, and demanded that all the unhurt ones leave, and he had managed to evade Amy's clutching grasp with only a very minor pang of guilt, and fled.

“The spell will either have dissipated of its own accord at midnight, or you smashed the statue.

I could apologise for the inconvenience, but that would be a lie. Be assured that I sold nothing hazardous this time around, though – I am after all, if not an entirely reformed character, in the present company of my granddaughter, and I would allow nothing to harm her.

Firstly, all worlds are real somewhere. (I suggest Heinlein's 'The Number of the Beast' on the subject - once you get past his tiresome enthusiasm for incest, the general theory is sound.) As some version of our reality is your fiction, so are you to us.

Also, your reality is one that still stocks a variety of cake product discontinued in my world, and my granddaughter was keen to get some for her daddy.

Everything else was just for the hell of it.”

It was signed with a smiley face.

Sheldon looked at the note for a long moment.

“Wanker.” He growled, then blinked at the sound of his own voice.

000000000

A couple of days later, and Sheldon was sitting with a cup of tea, watching the news. He glanced up as Penny came through the door.

“I went back through the mall, and there's no sign of that store. Half of it is still closed off for repair, but I swear there's a cell-phone concession there now.”

“The authorities are claiming it was some kind of gas leak, causing hallucinations.” Sheldon unfolded off the couch. “Tea?”

“You still sound British.” She plumped down in the vacated spot, just to bug him. “You're gonna have to bully the maintenance guy again, another doorknob came off in my hand today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It's been a sucky few days. I've been having some really weird dreams. And when Leonard woke me up unexpectedly, I kicked him out of bed and right across the room.”

“Hmm.” Sheldon looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he flung a kitchen knife at her.

Penny caught it. By the handle. And sat there, eyes crossed at the blade pointing at her face.

“What the hell!”

“Penny, do you recall a tv show called 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer'?”

“What's that got to do with you throwing a freaking knife at me, you lunatic!?”

Sheldon explained. Penny stared at him. Sheldon started to explain again, but she waved a hand at him.

“No, I got it. I just don't believe it. You think we became characters off a goofy tv show?”

“Not...entirely.” Sheldon blinked. “Though I am not as conversant with the show as I am other shows within Joss Whedon's oeuvre, since my mother did not approve of anything with supernatural creatures in it, I am sure that certain events happened very differently to the way I...he remembered them. I think we became versions of the actual people.”

“So you threw a knife at me.”

“And you caught it.”

“Oh.” She thought about that. “Oh crap.”

“Try picking up the couch.” Sheldon suggested. Penny gave him a weird look, but put a hand under the edge of the furniture and lifted.

When the whole thing rose in the air without effort, she was so surprised she dropped it with a shriek.

“Super strength, check. I have some ideas about how to test the healing factor...”

“Woah, back the hell up...” Penny huffed angrily. “Sheldon, I can pick up a freaking couch with one hand, what am I supposed to do?”

“Yes, well...” Sheldon fumbled at the bridge of his nose for non-existent glasses. “You could hunt vampires?”

“I don't think they exist in this reality...” She looked momentarily doubtful. “The only wiggins I've had recently has been around Amy.”

Sheldon twitched slightly. Having the ghost-memories of a man who had been far more adept with women – and with a taste for exotic beauties, at that – meant that he, too, suffered what Penny described as 'a wiggins' around his erstwhile girlfriend, though for very different reasons.

“So, what did you get from this?”

“I'm not entirely sure. The man was a historian, which is useless in my line of work. And as for all the, huh, knowledge about magic and demons, well, I mean, really, as if it were as simple as waving a hand and saying 'liber incendio'...”

Five exciting minutes later, after they had smothered the remains of the blazing magazines with a couple of wet towels, Penny threw open the window to let the last of the smoke out.

Sheldon was regarding his hand with glassy-eyed alarm.

“Fascinating.” he said, weakly. Then perked up. “A whole new field of energy manipulation.”

000000000

And so life went on.

After Penny made three citizen's arrests of muggers within a fortnight, the local cops asked if she'd ever thought of becoming a reserve officer. She ended up qualifying to teach self-defence classes, and won a civilian marksmanship award. And with the ghost-memories of being brooded at by experts, she really didn't have time for Leonard's sulking.

Sheldon was no longer quite as hopeless at normal social interaction, though he had a tendency to stutter when confronted with Penny at her most...Penny. He still had very little clue about modern pop culture, but had developed a fondness for prog rock. His experiments on 'Quantum Thaumaturgy and the Manipulation of Probability States' were progressing well.

Other things proved a little more problematic to deal with...

They both looked down at the cage in Sheldon's hands. The bald, wrinkled, ugly thing inside flung itself at the bars, chittering angrily, beady little eyes and bared fangs.

“What the hell is that?”

“It's a naked mole rat...” But his eyes skittered away from hers.

“Sheldon...”

“She was going on about coitus again, and I panicked.”

“You can't keep turning people into rodents when they piss you off, sweetie. We still haven't worked out how to turn the others back.”

They looked across at the large habitat against the wall. From within it, a hamster, a pygmy shrew and a couple of guinea pigs all looked accusingly back.

“Technically, Bernadette is a soricomorph, not a rodent...”

“Whatever, it's your turn to change their bedding. Leonard over-stuffed his cheek pouches again, and made himself sick. I'm going to brush Raj.”

Raj, a smug handful of tousled black fur, allowed himself to be carried off. Sheldon regarded the remaining creatures with an unfathomable look.

“I'm sure I'll remember the incantation to return you to your former selves. One day.” He smiled, and the unforced happiness was more disconcerting than his Joker grin had ever been. “Meanwhile, I have Thai food and some vintage video games to share with Penny.”

And humming Jefferson Airplane's 'White Rabbit', he ambled back to the couch, and his spot.

Happy (belated) Hallowhedon, folks. Big Grin ]]>