Quote:That thirst to learn more, that unwavering desire to understand, to make sense of, to hold the entire universe in his hand and know its terrifying beauty: that desire became the single point that Sheldon Cooper marched towards, compass in hand.

Quote:It was a complex hatred, one that was borne of realising that Nature gifts some with greater tools than others – knowing, some for the first time, that no matter how hard they worked, how desperately they wanted it, this strange little kid with a small train figurine always clutched in his little fist would always have what they lacked.

It was the difference between brilliance and genius. And they hated him for his gifts, almost as much as they hated him for his strange catalog of eccentricities – the surgical gloves he liked to wear, his utter incomprehension of social dynamics, the lack of empathy and know-it-all rants, the fact he never seemed to quite understand the joke at his expense, the fact he never had a retort other than pointing out the undeniable truth that he was smarter than them.

He would look around blankly, uncertain why he was being mocked but with enough experience to know that he was.

Quote:In three months, Howard, Raj and (this still brought a pang) Leonard had taken this identity and torn it neatly in half.

They had their excuses, of course. He was insufferable. He was a total dick(tator) and Dick(ensian). But even as they arrived in Texas to take him home, even as they apologised to him – and he tiredly forgave them because it was easier to do that then try to start over – he couldn't help but feel like the little kid in the front row of his high school class who was trying to figure out why they were laughing at him.

Quote:3 March 1991, 4.30pm

Galveston, Texas

For the last four weeks, he has fetched the mail, buzzing with anticipation but still earnestly ensuring that his pale skin doesn't make contact with the rust of the mailbox.

But, when the letter finally arrives, he doesn't open it.

Hours pass and he stares at the A4-sized envelope. It is heavy. It is large. It is full of promise. But he examines it carefully in his spot in the attic. He runs his hands over the words that form the very centre of his identity:

Mr Sheldon Cooper

And there in the top right corner is the crest of the University of Texas.

He is not nervous. He feels absolutely nothing. But he has been sitting here for an hour, examining the package. His mother calls for him but he doesn't hear.

Then, for no outward reason at all, he nods his head and flips the envelope over in his lap. With steady hands, he neatly opens it and pulls out the stack of documents: the glossy brochure and the measly sheet of paper that reads:

It gives me great pleasure to inform you…

And with that, his life changes forever. Just like that, he becomes more than the skinny know-it-all who no one sits next to and who doesn't seem to notice.

He is eleven years old and doesn't realize that he's crying until the tears hit the page.

Quote:There, in the living room of his house in Galveston, Texas, Sheldon Cooper found a single point of order in chaotic reality...For the first time, he had found something that he didn't understand right away. For the first time, he had a puzzle that actually made him take pause for a moment.

From that moment, a new world opened up before him. But really, it was a multitude of worlds, incalculable dimensions. Day by day, in the attic of a house in Texas, a little boy appreciated for the first time the stately waltz of orbiting binary stars and the frantic dance of subatomic quarks.

Quote:If Sheldon ever came close to what people consider a 'religious experience', it happened on April 17, 1982.

It was on the day that he was introduced to something that had been largely unknown to the prodigy: Order. On April 17, 1982, Sheldon's Meemaw took him to what he now considers his first 'Fortress of Solitude', the Galveston Public Library. It was there, among the volumes of paper (inked knowledge that was ready to be discovered), that Sheldon had made a discovery that changed his life forever. He had found order, labels and routines.

Sheldon found the three ideas that became the foundations of his life...

...So, from that point on, Sheldon Cooper longed and strived to put his life in order; to catalogue everything. If he had ordered everything, made things neater, labeled and put items in their correct places, maybe the broken home Sheldon Cooper was living in would cease to be broken.

Quote:"I can help you," Leonard said gently as Sheldon reorganized the papers on the desk.

"Thank you," he said coolly. "But my career has had about all the 'help' it can take."

All thoughts of physical confrontation fled from Leonard's mind. None of it would hurt quite as much as those had. For the first time, he found himself hating Sheldon, just a little.

So, he left his flatmate scrawling numbers across the night sky as his guilt started solidifying into hate.

Quote:"Sheldon," he said firmly. "I think you need to take a break."

At that, Sheldon whirled around to face him. "No Raj," he spat. "I do not need a break. I need answers. I need to make sense of all of this."

Raj reeled back, until the corner of the desk jabbed him in the back. "You don't have to find all the answers today," he reasoned weakly.

Sheldon shook his head, before turning back to his board. "It's the only way."

"Only way…what?"

Still facing the board, Sheldon spoke in a tired but focused voice. "It's the only way I will ever be taken seriously again."

Quote:When she woke up in the morning, still resting on the leather couch, she had been covered by a blanket. She could tell by the hospital corners that it was Sheldon's handiwork.

Leonard kissed her on the head distractedly on his way to work. "I tried to move you when I got home, but you took a sing at me when I tried."

"How ladylike," she commented. He laughed but didn't deny it.

When he left, she folded up the blanket and threw it over the arm of the couch. Trying too hard to pretend it didn't mean anything.

Making it mean even more.

Quote:"Sheldon," she said, as he handed her the now clean knife and made as if to move back to his scribbling. "May I ask you a question?"

He blinked. "I believe you just did. But you may ask me another one."

She bit her tongue to stop herself from responding sarcastically. "Well, I guess I'm just wondering why you decided to go into physics?" Before he had a chance to give a lengthy lecture about the virtues of physics, she continued. "I mean, doesn't it make you sad to think that all of this is just tiny particles dancing around?"

He leaned dreamily on the counter, lost in thought. Penny blinked at the look on his face; she couldn't recall a time when someone had considered her words so closely.

Then, his eyes snapped back to hers, and it was like being under a microscope. "It disturbs you to think that those feelings you experience – joy and sorrow – are merely reactions between molecules and atoms? You think it bleak that your world can be reduced to particles or fields and their interactions? You think it diminishes the world around you?"

Before her eyes, the coolness that had hidden just behind his thawed slightly. "Uh, yeah...sure. I mean, that's what I was saying."

Sheldon thought for a moment. When he spoke, the Texas drawl had entered his voice the way it did when he was speaking from the heart. "Well, Penny, something doesn't stop being real just because we don't want to admit it. And I don't think it's bleak. The way I see it, those 100 billion galaxies that sparkle over our heads are the formulas I write on my whiteboard, just writ large across the sky."[3]

As he spoke, he stepped closer to her, as if wanting to pull her into his mind [so] that she too could see the universes forming and disappearing in his brain. For her part, she had to draw breath since these beautiful words began spilling from his mouth.

"There have been a lot of things in my life that I couldn't explain or didn't understand. What I'm looking for is a formula that can answer a question that is bigger than me, bigger than any of us. It's about creation – something that we're a part of. It's about galaxies moving in space and the movement of tiny particles. Knowing that every cell in my body is billions of years old makes me feel part of something great."

"It makes me feel small," she whispered, feeling frozen under the force of his intense gaze.

"But Penny," he said with a crooked smile, only inches from her. "You are part of it too."

Later, she would account for it as him reaching a fervour of physics-related excitement. Certainly, he had never gone out of his way to touch her before – if anything, he tried to avoid it unless absolutely necessary.

Whatever the reason, at that moment, he reached out with both hands and – hesitating only slightly – rested his long fingers on the bare skin of her upper arms.

"Close your eyes."

Not knowing what else to do, she closed her eyes.

"Right this moment, billions of neutrinos ejected into space by the sun are passing through your body and mine as part of a lonely voyage through the cosmos. You're a part of it, Penny. Can you feel it?"

For a moment, Penny fancied that she could feel it happening. She could feel each atom of her body. She could feel his hands. She could feel everything.

But then his hands were gone and her arms were cool. And she was no more than Penny standing in a kitchen with her chest heaving.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Sheldon retreating back to the safety of his formulae. She drew a shuddering breath, struggling to get her bearings.

If she hadn't known better, she would have mistaken the fluttering in her chest as being caused by the feeling of Sheldon's hands on her skin.

She pushed the thought away.

Quote:"Leonard," she said breathily. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

Already his mind was filled with rich fantasies about where this was going.

"Why did you go into physics?"

Well. That was unexpected.

"You mean…professionally?" he asked uncertainly, uncertain what she wanted from him.

"Yeah, I mean – why physics rather than some other type of science. I mean, smart guy like you could have chosen a lot of different things, right?"

"Well," he adjusted his glasses on his nose. "I mean...I was always pretty scientifically minded. I liked doing experiments and everything – and I did well in it at school. When I finished high school, my parents had me sit a professional personality test and it indicated that I was most suited to academia. That was cross-referenced with my grades and adjusted to my preferences. Physics just seemed like the coolest type of science, you know? With the lasers and space. It was always what interested me the most." He paused, struggling to remember how he had ended up where he had. "Also, I mean, my sister had already gone to med school so I didn't really want to compete with her. So yeah. Umm. That's pretty much how I ended up here."

Right this moment, billions of neutrinos ejected into space by the sun are passing through your body and mine as part of a lonely voyage through the cosmos.

She hated that she was comparing their answers in her mind. She hated the way he looked at her as if beseeching her to tell him what he had to do. She hated and felt sorry for how she was treating him – how her eyes kept moving to the clock on the wall to make sure that she wasn't late bringing lunch to Sheldon. She didn't even know why she bothered, really. He always had her put it on the desk and then leave his office. He didn't like small talk.