Wishful Thinking...

[Louise]

Things I don't believe in:

• alien abduction
  
• Loch Ness Monster
  
• Sasquatch
  
• The earth is flat
  • ectoplasm
    
  • predestination
    
  • demonic possession
    
  • Howard makes significantly less money than Bernadette.
    
  • Amy has improved Sheldon's life.
    
  • Bernadette has made Howard a better person.
    
  • Adult women talk in high pitched Mickey Mouse voices and this is normal.
    
  • The average person has never heard of Star Wars.
    • things like Harry Potter, LOTR, and the Avengers are not hugely popular with the general public.
      
      
    • Howard wants a baby
      
    • Howard can't or won't do basic tasks like laundry.
      
    • Penny can't use a glue gun.
      • the other characters give a crap about keeping Shamy together or keeping Lenny together.
        
      • Raj is a social pariah.
        
      • Bernadette is a real person and not a plot device.
        
      • Sheldon needs Amy.
        
      • Amy is smarter than Sheldon.
        
      • Bernadette is smarter than Howard.
        
      • Penny would wear some of these ugly outfits she's been wearing lately.
        
      • Sheldon would be nude in someone's car.
        
      • Howard would have an ordinary car instead of a scooter.
        
      • If Amy left, Sheldon would try to get her back.
        
      • If Amy left, Sheldon would grieve her absence.
        • Early seasons Howard is a truly creepy molester who belongs on the sex offender registry.
          
        • Bernadette is Howard's best friend.
          
        
        
      • Sheldon drinks alcohol frequently.
        
      • Any of them except Penny and Raj drink alcohol frequently.
        
      • Howard is lucky to have Bernadette because he is repulsive and nobody else would ever, ever want him.
        
      • Howard likes Neil Diamond.
        
      • Leonard is sexy.
        
      • Raj would fantasize about Howard's death.
        
      • Raj had a crush on Bernadette.
        
      • Anyone with ears had a crush on Bernadette.
        
      • Raj would all of a sudden lose his mutism in the space of just one episode.
        • Being single is a terrible fate.
          
        • Any of this nonsense is real.