08-27-2018, 11:55 PM
Hi Nostalgia
Thanks for the feedback!
To steal your turn of phrase, Sweet baby Jesus that's a lot of feedback!
I see you're pretty new here, so I've got to say its a lot more of a detailed critique than i expected, but thanks - it must have taken you some time
Seems we have a different definition of story and the long form , this starts as a series of vignettes that fit into the existing canon and modify it to the direction I'm taking. So yes, some bits are pretty short and need you to have a pretty good knowledge of TBBT to get all the references and differences. To make is a more stand along story I would need to flesh it out a lot more.
I'm no professional writer so its just been put out as fast as the ideas came, in part just to get them out of my head, it is a little raw - apologies for the spelling/ punctuation / formatting issues
Stylistically I'm trying to make it feel like the show, hence the cuts between scenes rather than the slow exposition and set up you suggest. If it's been a while since you've watched the show you may not get some of the other bits. I don't want to have to make a required viewing list to go with this so I may have to add more to connect the scenes
as things veer off from Canon I do take more time to set the scene as it's not something from the series. I try and do some research into the area, the internet is a wonderful tool and Sheldon would want to be factually accurate
Even if you can't particularly see Penny as a sub or Sheldon as a Dom I hope you read some more and enjoy it. Who knows, it may persuade you!
Thanks for the feedback!
To steal your turn of phrase, Sweet baby Jesus that's a lot of feedback!
I see you're pretty new here, so I've got to say its a lot more of a detailed critique than i expected, but thanks - it must have taken you some time
Seems we have a different definition of story and the long form , this starts as a series of vignettes that fit into the existing canon and modify it to the direction I'm taking. So yes, some bits are pretty short and need you to have a pretty good knowledge of TBBT to get all the references and differences. To make is a more stand along story I would need to flesh it out a lot more.
I'm no professional writer so its just been put out as fast as the ideas came, in part just to get them out of my head, it is a little raw - apologies for the spelling/ punctuation / formatting issues
Stylistically I'm trying to make it feel like the show, hence the cuts between scenes rather than the slow exposition and set up you suggest. If it's been a while since you've watched the show you may not get some of the other bits. I don't want to have to make a required viewing list to go with this so I may have to add more to connect the scenes
as things veer off from Canon I do take more time to set the scene as it's not something from the series. I try and do some research into the area, the internet is a wonderful tool and Sheldon would want to be factually accurate
Even if you can't particularly see Penny as a sub or Sheldon as a Dom I hope you read some more and enjoy it. Who knows, it may persuade you!
My FanFics are up on FF.net and A03 - they're rather Kinky and NSFW.
https://www.fanfiction.net/~delgardo
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delgardo/works
https://www.fanfiction.net/~delgardo
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delgardo/works