05-08-2015, 10:31 AM
8.24 The Commitment Determination
Tonight's episode was meant to be a contemplative one, with four plotlines ending mid-stream so as to create a 'see you next year' vibe. What we got in actuality, however, is something that said more about what's wrong with the relationship structures on the show rather than highlight the relationships' strengths.
Leonard and Penny, at Sheldon's prompting, decide to set a date for the wedding. Why their interactions don't work is that they show just how Penny and Leonard are on different paths. Penny is still spontaneous but she's also more mature; TPTB have structured her careers in such a way that Penny was once way below Leonard and is now way above him in terms of salary. Coming from this new angle as a mature, self-sufficient woman Penny lays out logical reasons for the wedding delay up until now—her career, Leonard's career and that they were both 'in a good place right now'. These words, however, went in Leonard's ear and out his mouth in the form of whining for wedding details. Basically, Penny's own sense of assuredness that they love each other and that things are going well is trod over by Leonard's insecurity until she relents and discusses the details. With the abrupt way she agreed to the details I had the feeling that she was just placating Leonard in order to get his latest bout of insecurity over with as soon as possible. It was an exchange that really showed how immature Leonard is compared to Penny—and really confirmed the idea that, yeah, she really is out of his league. And it's not just looks or money. She's an adult. Leonard is still Leonard—insecure, relentlessly whiny. To bastardize Flanders' view of Woody Allen: "I like BBT except for that whiny fella that's always in it."
Leonard's immaturity really hits home when he tells Penny that while he was away on the research ship he kissed a girl, 'but he broke it off'. Now consider this with s5 and his making out with Alice while Priya was away in India. Leonard also stopped himself from going any further with Alice because he was a 'nice guy'. Penny knows all about this given that Leonard went to her to basically sanction his cheating on Priya. So he's got a history. And now he's done it to her. And what's Penny's thinking? She's pissed, but 'it isn't like we were engaged then'. YOU WERE DATING, YOU TWIT! Penny pointed out to Leonard that he was cheating on Priya with Alice, and she don't even LIKE Priya. Now when it happens to her, she makes excuses for him. This flies in the face of the mature Penny we saw earlier in the episode because there is no logical explanation beyond there being something seriously emotionally wrong with her for her to still be with Leonard. This is Penny's 'Arctic' moment where it takes the 'divine' influence of the writers to keep real-life consequences from affecting Leonard. Yes, given how they write Lenny there's a good possibility that the wedding doesn't take place this time.
The problem is that it will take place at all.
The Sheldon and Amy segment was mercifully short as it really did go over the same tired sequence of Sheldon doing something Amy doesn't like and Amy getting mad at Sheldon. Their five year anniversary was ruined because Sheldon pondered whether to watch the Flash while sucking face with Amy. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the woman who faked being sick so Sheldon could rub her chest with Vaporub and give her a bath and yet now when she actually has him engaged in making out she calls a halt to it. Why was the former acceptable while tonight's attempt put Sheldon's fat on the fryer? The answer is given by Penny—Sheldon was supposed to have devoted all his attention to Amy.
And that's why Sheldon and Amy's relationship is unhealthy.
It's not healthy for someone to give up all his interests and devote everything he has to his mate. Sheldon is a comic book nut. It's the Flash—his favorite character. This should be a no-brainer. If this was a true relationship of compromise Amy would have leaned back, said, 'DVR it' and after he did so, resumed Operation Face Hugger. In that way both would get what they wanted. Besides, Sheldon was actually engaged and interested in smooching. Instead this is yet again another instance where Sheldon is insufferable. It's been five years of patience and frustration with the lack of physical affection and his having an idea that he could have interests outside of their relationship. He had five years to understand that this relationship was all about Amy and her wanting for a prom date/Prince Charming.
The end sequence where Amy tells him that she loves him but she wants to take a step back was a sad moment for me, not because of Amy's self-proclaimed 'self-sacrifice' to the relationship but because of her rejection of Sheldon's attempts to appease her. Season 8 was the year of the Prom, his 'I love you', even making out on the couch, and yet this wasn't enough change for her. She needed to step back and revaluate their relationship.
I guess Sheldon was falling behind in her five year plan for marriage.
And it's this plotting mentality that has me angry as this woman has done her best to systematically dismiss his hobbies, downplay his career and employed scientific methodology to get Sheldon to increase his feelings for her so as to bring their relationship 'to the next level'. And she does. He loves her—just not the way she wants. Sheldon is put in the position that he is solely responsible for derailing the relationship. And that's not fair. There are two sides to every story and their exchange captures it perfectly. Amy says that she's been nothing but patient with Sheldon. He disagreed. And he's right. Their interactions since s5 have been Amy nagging Sheldon for physical contact. Even TPTB summed up their relationship as 'Amy pushing Sheldon until he gives in'; that's not being patient, that's being a bully.
What Sheldon has come up against, and why he can't win this one, is that the writers haven't moved past their idea of Sheldon that rationalized Leonard's behavior in the Arctic—Sheldon was being Sheldon and therefore deserved what he got. Both Amy and Leonard knew what they were getting into when they agreed to Sheldon's invitations. In particular, Sheldon told Amy that aside from their being boyfriend/girlfriend nothing else in the relationship physical or otherwise was going to change. And she agreed. Now she's decided that maybe Sheldon isn't what she wants. That would be fair if she hadn't changed him so much that the Sheldon who built a nuclear reactor in his backyard from household items now can't even figure out a revolving door.
Amy knew that Sheldon viewed what they had as being intimate. He said 'I love you' of his own free will.
She won their tug of war, only to then say that he wasn't doing enough to change.
That's not love. That's selfish. And for Amy, completely in character.
That's why I found their final scene to be so tragic. Sheldon hasn't figured out that he's fallen in love with someone who genuinely doesn't like him.
Bernadette and Howard's dilemma with Stuart was a throw-away plot. Can they get him to move out? Not on his birthday after buying yoghurt and cereal for his roommates. And yet it does speak of the show's inherent problem of having secondary characters overstay their welcome.
Now from a structuralist perspective the most interesting relationship development occurred with Raj because of his realization that Emily and he are beyond different what with her necro-positive vibe to his Pottery Barn decor. His gut tells him to break up—a decision which Howard and Bernadette find hilarious as they figure that there is no way Raj would break up a relationship in which he's having sex. This is the prevailing viewpoint of the show that had Howard marrying 'the only woman in the world who would have him' and has Amy telling Sheldon that 'she's the best girlfriend he's ever going to have' so he should give in to her wants.
What makes Raj interesting is that he is actually questioning the tried and true formula by suggesting that compatibility should play a significant role in a relationship. Something that I've been saying for years the main relationships lack. And yet TPTB have tried their best to downplay this. The parts that don't comply with their significant others are from 'that other guy who doesn't exist anymore'. Howard thanked Bernadette for making him 'a better person'. Amy did her best to make a better boyfriend out of Sheldon. Raj wants to have something in common with his partner besides sex or as I call it, 'The Lenny Effect'.
I can only hope that Raj does follow through and dumps Emily. How ironic that the hopes of someone who might finally have a clue about how to have a mature relationship lies in the hands of a guy who spent almost his entire life being unable to talk to women.
But then again that would be asking the writers to be more innovative and aware of their work than they clearly are.
After all, if they were on the ball the later seasons would actually be funny.
Tonight's episode was meant to be a contemplative one, with four plotlines ending mid-stream so as to create a 'see you next year' vibe. What we got in actuality, however, is something that said more about what's wrong with the relationship structures on the show rather than highlight the relationships' strengths.
Leonard and Penny, at Sheldon's prompting, decide to set a date for the wedding. Why their interactions don't work is that they show just how Penny and Leonard are on different paths. Penny is still spontaneous but she's also more mature; TPTB have structured her careers in such a way that Penny was once way below Leonard and is now way above him in terms of salary. Coming from this new angle as a mature, self-sufficient woman Penny lays out logical reasons for the wedding delay up until now—her career, Leonard's career and that they were both 'in a good place right now'. These words, however, went in Leonard's ear and out his mouth in the form of whining for wedding details. Basically, Penny's own sense of assuredness that they love each other and that things are going well is trod over by Leonard's insecurity until she relents and discusses the details. With the abrupt way she agreed to the details I had the feeling that she was just placating Leonard in order to get his latest bout of insecurity over with as soon as possible. It was an exchange that really showed how immature Leonard is compared to Penny—and really confirmed the idea that, yeah, she really is out of his league. And it's not just looks or money. She's an adult. Leonard is still Leonard—insecure, relentlessly whiny. To bastardize Flanders' view of Woody Allen: "I like BBT except for that whiny fella that's always in it."
Leonard's immaturity really hits home when he tells Penny that while he was away on the research ship he kissed a girl, 'but he broke it off'. Now consider this with s5 and his making out with Alice while Priya was away in India. Leonard also stopped himself from going any further with Alice because he was a 'nice guy'. Penny knows all about this given that Leonard went to her to basically sanction his cheating on Priya. So he's got a history. And now he's done it to her. And what's Penny's thinking? She's pissed, but 'it isn't like we were engaged then'. YOU WERE DATING, YOU TWIT! Penny pointed out to Leonard that he was cheating on Priya with Alice, and she don't even LIKE Priya. Now when it happens to her, she makes excuses for him. This flies in the face of the mature Penny we saw earlier in the episode because there is no logical explanation beyond there being something seriously emotionally wrong with her for her to still be with Leonard. This is Penny's 'Arctic' moment where it takes the 'divine' influence of the writers to keep real-life consequences from affecting Leonard. Yes, given how they write Lenny there's a good possibility that the wedding doesn't take place this time.
The problem is that it will take place at all.
The Sheldon and Amy segment was mercifully short as it really did go over the same tired sequence of Sheldon doing something Amy doesn't like and Amy getting mad at Sheldon. Their five year anniversary was ruined because Sheldon pondered whether to watch the Flash while sucking face with Amy. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the woman who faked being sick so Sheldon could rub her chest with Vaporub and give her a bath and yet now when she actually has him engaged in making out she calls a halt to it. Why was the former acceptable while tonight's attempt put Sheldon's fat on the fryer? The answer is given by Penny—Sheldon was supposed to have devoted all his attention to Amy.
And that's why Sheldon and Amy's relationship is unhealthy.
It's not healthy for someone to give up all his interests and devote everything he has to his mate. Sheldon is a comic book nut. It's the Flash—his favorite character. This should be a no-brainer. If this was a true relationship of compromise Amy would have leaned back, said, 'DVR it' and after he did so, resumed Operation Face Hugger. In that way both would get what they wanted. Besides, Sheldon was actually engaged and interested in smooching. Instead this is yet again another instance where Sheldon is insufferable. It's been five years of patience and frustration with the lack of physical affection and his having an idea that he could have interests outside of their relationship. He had five years to understand that this relationship was all about Amy and her wanting for a prom date/Prince Charming.
The end sequence where Amy tells him that she loves him but she wants to take a step back was a sad moment for me, not because of Amy's self-proclaimed 'self-sacrifice' to the relationship but because of her rejection of Sheldon's attempts to appease her. Season 8 was the year of the Prom, his 'I love you', even making out on the couch, and yet this wasn't enough change for her. She needed to step back and revaluate their relationship.
I guess Sheldon was falling behind in her five year plan for marriage.
And it's this plotting mentality that has me angry as this woman has done her best to systematically dismiss his hobbies, downplay his career and employed scientific methodology to get Sheldon to increase his feelings for her so as to bring their relationship 'to the next level'. And she does. He loves her—just not the way she wants. Sheldon is put in the position that he is solely responsible for derailing the relationship. And that's not fair. There are two sides to every story and their exchange captures it perfectly. Amy says that she's been nothing but patient with Sheldon. He disagreed. And he's right. Their interactions since s5 have been Amy nagging Sheldon for physical contact. Even TPTB summed up their relationship as 'Amy pushing Sheldon until he gives in'; that's not being patient, that's being a bully.
What Sheldon has come up against, and why he can't win this one, is that the writers haven't moved past their idea of Sheldon that rationalized Leonard's behavior in the Arctic—Sheldon was being Sheldon and therefore deserved what he got. Both Amy and Leonard knew what they were getting into when they agreed to Sheldon's invitations. In particular, Sheldon told Amy that aside from their being boyfriend/girlfriend nothing else in the relationship physical or otherwise was going to change. And she agreed. Now she's decided that maybe Sheldon isn't what she wants. That would be fair if she hadn't changed him so much that the Sheldon who built a nuclear reactor in his backyard from household items now can't even figure out a revolving door.
Amy knew that Sheldon viewed what they had as being intimate. He said 'I love you' of his own free will.
She won their tug of war, only to then say that he wasn't doing enough to change.
That's not love. That's selfish. And for Amy, completely in character.
That's why I found their final scene to be so tragic. Sheldon hasn't figured out that he's fallen in love with someone who genuinely doesn't like him.
Bernadette and Howard's dilemma with Stuart was a throw-away plot. Can they get him to move out? Not on his birthday after buying yoghurt and cereal for his roommates. And yet it does speak of the show's inherent problem of having secondary characters overstay their welcome.
Now from a structuralist perspective the most interesting relationship development occurred with Raj because of his realization that Emily and he are beyond different what with her necro-positive vibe to his Pottery Barn decor. His gut tells him to break up—a decision which Howard and Bernadette find hilarious as they figure that there is no way Raj would break up a relationship in which he's having sex. This is the prevailing viewpoint of the show that had Howard marrying 'the only woman in the world who would have him' and has Amy telling Sheldon that 'she's the best girlfriend he's ever going to have' so he should give in to her wants.
What makes Raj interesting is that he is actually questioning the tried and true formula by suggesting that compatibility should play a significant role in a relationship. Something that I've been saying for years the main relationships lack. And yet TPTB have tried their best to downplay this. The parts that don't comply with their significant others are from 'that other guy who doesn't exist anymore'. Howard thanked Bernadette for making him 'a better person'. Amy did her best to make a better boyfriend out of Sheldon. Raj wants to have something in common with his partner besides sex or as I call it, 'The Lenny Effect'.
I can only hope that Raj does follow through and dumps Emily. How ironic that the hopes of someone who might finally have a clue about how to have a mature relationship lies in the hands of a guy who spent almost his entire life being unable to talk to women.
But then again that would be asking the writers to be more innovative and aware of their work than they clearly are.
After all, if they were on the ball the later seasons would actually be funny.
Let's go exploring!