02-28-2016, 02:50 PM
Random thoughts that I have during my commute to work:
Not to use a Tumblr-esque word, but this show's concept of love and relationships is very *performative.* It's all about gestures. Everything is an event, a big display. Things that ought to happen naturally, easily, and spontaneously, instead get turned into a big deal. Sex is a Big Event™, instead of something people do simply because they love each other, like each other, or at the very least feel attracted to each other. It seems that in TPTB's world, people don't do things simply because they want to; there's always some angle, some ulterior motive, some element of manipulation.
The Prom, all the talk about engagement rings and wedding dresses and proposals, the multiple (Two? Three?) occasions of H. singing to B, the notion of having EVERYONE take part in H and B's wedding, H. finding out about the baby by means of a scavenger hunt...everything becomes overly complicated. There's a lot of shenanigans as a substitute for any real communication. Things that ought to be a normal and natural part of everyday life, instead become fetishized and problematized and fraught with excessive importance. Everything's a ritual and a sacrament. Everything requires elaborate planning, etc.
Obviously, I'm not saying it's wrong to have a wedding or to enjoy traditional romantic gestures. But with these ships, the gestures are a *substitute* for any true or meaningful connection. It's all about appearances, about materialism, it's all superficial, it's about putting on a show and making a display, in front of as many witnesses as possible.
Because the characters are trying desperately hard to convince themselves, each other, and the audience that these relationships are real.
The Canons think "Love" means a continuous series of presents and surprises and gimmicks and symbols. It's an extremely juvenile conception of what a relationship is. Everything's a special occasion. They care a LOT about this stuff, it seems to mean a great deal to them.
They *don't* care about the couples actually treating each other with respect or behaving in a loving manner towards each other.
Diamonds and dresses and parties and karaoke and tiaras and holidays---that's their concept of being a couple. Not actual respect, kindness, compatibility, harmony, chemistry, emotional support, mutual attraction, shared goals, beliefs, values, priorities, etc.
Are these two people actually compatible? Do they enjoy spending time with each other? How do they truly feel about each other? Can they communicate honestly without fear of some kind of reprisal? Do they respect each other? Do they treat each other kindly? Are they genuinely supportive and helpful and encouraging? Are they able to face challenges and solve problems together? The Canons don't care about that.
"Love" is ribbons and cupcakes and flowers and ponies, and these elaborately-staged Grand Events where someone shouts loudly about their "love" in front of an assembly of the other six characters. Then they turn around and treat their "partner" in the most horrific ways, making it clear that there is no real understanding or empathy or functioning relationship there, at all. It's okay to humiliate and emotionally eviscerate someone and treat them like they're trash, as long as you have Date Night and jewelry.
Personally, I would find all of these "romantic" surprises embarrassing and inappropriate. I also find it icky that subjects which ought to be very private and personal are constantly getting shared and debated with The Group™. These people are up in each other's business way, way, way too much. The level of emotional enmeshment and group-pressure and oversharing is so gross, unhealthy, and abnormal.
Instead of actually listening to each other and trying to understand each other, these couples are always planning some contrived and corny event which is intended to "prove" their love and devotion to one and all. It seems exhausting, to me.
If you sincerely feel something, then you wouldn't have to try so damn hard to prove it, and you wouldn't be constantly looking to a jury of six or seven "friends" for validation and approval.
I really do think that for the Canons, it's okay for these couples to act like they hate each other, as long as they *say* "I love you" via some cheesy song-and-dance. And if they're shown sitting in bed together, that's shorthand for any real sexual chemistry, too.
(I, personally, would not want to watch these things even if they were done in a more tasteful way.)
Not to use a Tumblr-esque word, but this show's concept of love and relationships is very *performative.* It's all about gestures. Everything is an event, a big display. Things that ought to happen naturally, easily, and spontaneously, instead get turned into a big deal. Sex is a Big Event™, instead of something people do simply because they love each other, like each other, or at the very least feel attracted to each other. It seems that in TPTB's world, people don't do things simply because they want to; there's always some angle, some ulterior motive, some element of manipulation.
The Prom, all the talk about engagement rings and wedding dresses and proposals, the multiple (Two? Three?) occasions of H. singing to B, the notion of having EVERYONE take part in H and B's wedding, H. finding out about the baby by means of a scavenger hunt...everything becomes overly complicated. There's a lot of shenanigans as a substitute for any real communication. Things that ought to be a normal and natural part of everyday life, instead become fetishized and problematized and fraught with excessive importance. Everything's a ritual and a sacrament. Everything requires elaborate planning, etc.
Obviously, I'm not saying it's wrong to have a wedding or to enjoy traditional romantic gestures. But with these ships, the gestures are a *substitute* for any true or meaningful connection. It's all about appearances, about materialism, it's all superficial, it's about putting on a show and making a display, in front of as many witnesses as possible.
Because the characters are trying desperately hard to convince themselves, each other, and the audience that these relationships are real.
The Canons think "Love" means a continuous series of presents and surprises and gimmicks and symbols. It's an extremely juvenile conception of what a relationship is. Everything's a special occasion. They care a LOT about this stuff, it seems to mean a great deal to them.
They *don't* care about the couples actually treating each other with respect or behaving in a loving manner towards each other.
Diamonds and dresses and parties and karaoke and tiaras and holidays---that's their concept of being a couple. Not actual respect, kindness, compatibility, harmony, chemistry, emotional support, mutual attraction, shared goals, beliefs, values, priorities, etc.
Are these two people actually compatible? Do they enjoy spending time with each other? How do they truly feel about each other? Can they communicate honestly without fear of some kind of reprisal? Do they respect each other? Do they treat each other kindly? Are they genuinely supportive and helpful and encouraging? Are they able to face challenges and solve problems together? The Canons don't care about that.
"Love" is ribbons and cupcakes and flowers and ponies, and these elaborately-staged Grand Events where someone shouts loudly about their "love" in front of an assembly of the other six characters. Then they turn around and treat their "partner" in the most horrific ways, making it clear that there is no real understanding or empathy or functioning relationship there, at all. It's okay to humiliate and emotionally eviscerate someone and treat them like they're trash, as long as you have Date Night and jewelry.
Personally, I would find all of these "romantic" surprises embarrassing and inappropriate. I also find it icky that subjects which ought to be very private and personal are constantly getting shared and debated with The Group™. These people are up in each other's business way, way, way too much. The level of emotional enmeshment and group-pressure and oversharing is so gross, unhealthy, and abnormal.
Instead of actually listening to each other and trying to understand each other, these couples are always planning some contrived and corny event which is intended to "prove" their love and devotion to one and all. It seems exhausting, to me.
If you sincerely feel something, then you wouldn't have to try so damn hard to prove it, and you wouldn't be constantly looking to a jury of six or seven "friends" for validation and approval.
I really do think that for the Canons, it's okay for these couples to act like they hate each other, as long as they *say* "I love you" via some cheesy song-and-dance. And if they're shown sitting in bed together, that's shorthand for any real sexual chemistry, too.
(I, personally, would not want to watch these things even if they were done in a more tasteful way.)