Rendered Quizzical - Missy Cooper

[Toad]

Missy: Oh, he once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head.
Leonard: Excuse me?
Sheldon: She’s my twin sister, she thinks she’s funny but frankly I’ve never been able to see it.
Missy: It’s because you have no measurable sense of humour, Shelly.
Sheldon: How exactly would one measure a sense of humour? A humourmometer?



Leonard: If the wedding’s not until tomorrow, why don’t you stay with us tonight?
Missy: Oh, I don’t think so. Shelly doesn’t like company. Even as a little boy he’d send his imaginary friends home at the end of the day.
Sheldon: They were not friends, they were imaginary colleagues.





Missy: So anyway, we’re eight years old, and Sheldon converts my easy-bake oven to some kind of high-powered furnace.
Leonard: Hee-hee, just classic.
Sheldon: I needed a place to fire ceramic semi-conductor substrates for home-made integrated circuits.
Missy: He was trying to build some kind of armed robot to keep me out of his room.
Sheldon: Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room.
Missy: Anyway, I go to make those little corn muffins they give you, there’s a big flash, next thing you know my eyebrows are gone.
Howard: Ha-ha, not your eyebrows?
Missy: Yep. I had to go through the entire second grade with crooked eyebrows my Mom drew on.
Sheldon: Is that what that was? I just assumed that the second grade curriculum had rendered you quizzical.




Missy: Okay. I’m not even going to ask why you’re pimping me out for cheese.



Sheldon: I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird. You know, a superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds. Of course the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food, leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. Luckily for you, that’s where the metaphor ended.
Missy: I thought it ended at cuckoo.




Missy: Come on, Shelly. I want you to know I’m very proud of you.
Sheldon: Really?
Missy: Yup, I’m always bragging to my friends about my brother the rocket scientist.
Sheldon: You tell people I’m a rocket scientist?
Missy: Well yeah.
Sheldon: I’m a theoretical physicist.
Missy: What’s the difference?
Sheldon: What’s the difference?
Missy: Goodbye Shelly.
Sheldon: My God! Why don’t you just tell them I’m a toll taker at the Golden Gate Bridge? Rocket scientist, how humiliating.