03-28-2014, 01:50 AM
A Fowl Dissipation
On Monday Amy Farrah Fowler did not join the group for Thai food. Sheldon seemed unconcerned.
On Tuesday Amy Farrah Fowler did not appear at a scheduled Girl’s Night. Bernadette and Penny were so busy doing each other’s hair they didn’t realize she hadn’t arrived until they were almost done.
On Wednesday Amy Farrah Fowler did not join Sheldon for New Comic Book Day and subsequent Halo. Since she had previously expressed her distaste for both events nobody was surprised.
On Thursday, everybody appeared for Pizza Night but Amy.
Penny was curious.
“Sheldon, have you seen Amy?”
“No.”
“Do you know where she is?”
“She’s gone.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I can only relate what she told me when she Skyped with me on Sunday evening.”
“Well?”
“Amy has relocated to Saudi Arabia to marry Faisel.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Apparently her fiancée Faisel came for a surprise visit last weekend and informed Amy that according to her contract with him she could either relocate to Saudi Arabia and marry him immediately, pay him back the entire investment he had made in her research or be beheaded. Faisel maintained that after supporting her for so long he deserved a decision. She chose to marry him and remain there to continue her research. Apparently he will allow her to experiment on human subjects.”
“Sheldon, aren’t you surprised she just left. You guys were getting so close.”
“Initially I was surprised. But then I realized that the time I was forced to spend on my relationship with Amy could be better spent furthering my scientific goals.”
“So, everything goes back to how it was before you met Amy?”
“Not exactly. You are once again involved in your misbegotten relationship with Leonard. Howard and Bernadette are married. Raj can speak to women. And Leonard purchased a vehicle for you that does not have enough headroom to allow me to ride in it comfortably. Things have most certainly changed.”
“Are you sad that Amy is no longer part of your life?”
“Amy is still a part of my life. We will continue to Skype regularly. There will just be no physical contact. And Faisel is monitoring our conversations. He has told Amy that if she even alludes to physical contact with me she will be beheaded. I wish I had thought of that four years ago.”
“So now you’ll go through the rest of your life without anyone?”
“There is someone I’d be more than happy to pursue a relationship with but she remains unavailable to me. Should that situation change, however…”